Categories
Football Politics

Things to Think About

A couple of interesting links for a Sunday morning, both football related but with political overtones.

First up, we have this item about future stadium concepts. The basic idea is to create a stadium with a massive bar, and by massive I mean massive- standing room for 20,000.

Given the current state of the economy, it’s not unreasonable for the NFL to think about ways to give fans their monies worth. Even this year, localized TV blackouts have been something of an issue for several teams, including the Cincinatti Bengals and the San Diego Chargers. The teams avoided the blackouts by purchasing the remaining tickets. Considering that the purpose of blackouts is to essentially “punish” fans for not purchasing tickets so they can’t watch from the comfort of their home, I’d say that’s a pretty extraordinary circumstance.

I’m not a fan of the current trend whereby NFL owners build new stadiums with giant public loans. Essentially, the NFL takes people’s current money in ticket prices, then their future earnings through taxes. They then have the gall to over charge for food and drink once a fan is in the stadium, plus they ban anyone from bringing in their own food. In all likelihood, they’re probably trying to figure out a way to monetize tailgating- probably by limiting the practice to a certain fee based area.

In summary, football is expensive for fans. These proposed changes to stadiums are an attempt to give fans value for their money. It’ll be interesting to see if it works.

Next up, we have political meddling. I don’t have much more to offer here other than a general observation that it’s getting hard to go anywhere and avoid politics, or more specifically government interest. It’s possible my view is skewed by my reading habits, but it still seems right. Just about any topic comes back to politics it seems: education, cars, jobs, parenting, heating, relationships, health, and now sports. If I missed it, I’m willing to bet politics is still involved.

Categories
Family

Sick

Finally succumbed to, well, something anyway. I can’t say it’s what’s been going around because it’s only been about 24 hours; whereas most of what I’ve heard about lasts for a few days.

And while I’m on this topic, let me just get a little graphic here and say that vomiting has to be the most miserable bodily function experience there is. First off, there’s that funny feeling in your stomach where you know something isn’t quite right and you think “Maybe I shouldn’t have put horseradish on my eggs and sausage this morning along with 3 cups of coffee.” But denial sets in and you figure “I’ll just sip on water and give it some time, I’ll be right as rain in a couple hours.”

A couple hours later, things haven’t improved and, gee, maybe you I shouldn’t have gone to the gym for a workout after all. No lunch and now things are starting to get a little bloated down there. At this point, the thought occurs that toilet hugging is in your future.

After a another hour or so, you get that first confirmation. The sensation is almost imperceptible, certainly indescribable, and unfortunately undeniable- something in your gut just kicked in. It’s T-minus time, and Mount Vesuvius will have nothing on you in a few moments.

When the moment finally does arrive, the only good thing is you’ve located yourself over the toilet so you won’t have to clean up anything more than absolutely necessary. Mainly yourself. The spasms rip through you. Snot seeps out your nose and down you cheeks, but you could care less about that because the past couple of meals is pouring out of you. You close your eyes and hang on because, really, there’s nothing else you can do. To add further insult, chunks of food are getting stuffed up your nose.

Finally, that first break comes where it could be over. But it’s not. There’s still a thimble-full of something down there that has to be purged. Somehow, this part is even worse than the previous waves. Your mouth tastes like 4-day old socks that saw double-shifts in coal plant. Liquid is dripping off your face- some God-awful combination of stomach goop, snot and spit. You don’t dare open your eyes, lest you’ll be staring at your stomach contents. You reach out for the toilet handle and then the heaves start. Your body spasms and now things hurt.

Finally, it’s over. Your stomach feels better, but there’s that taste in your mouth and all that stuff dripping off your face. And, when did your nose get all clogged up? Oh yeah…

So now the cleanup phase begins. Rinse your mouth out with some water, but don’t dare swallow. Wash your face off with cool water- that feels good. Then blow your nose, once, twice, three times. Chunks of food are still coming out. Finally, brush your teeth. Then, back to the toilet to clean up whatever didn’t make it into the toilet. Finally, you go to a couch, maybe with a little water.

Really, is there anything worse that your body can throw at you?

Categories
Computers

Readability Bookmarklet for Dolphin

I’ve been using Readability more and more recently. I’m not exactly an early adopter in this case, but I’m glad I found it. It’s an app and service that reformats an article into a very easy to read format. It eliminates all the cruft like ads, banners and so forth that accompanies the typical web article.

There are a couple of way it can be used. One is as a “Read Later” service, where an article is saved to a Readability account. The idea being that the article can be accessed through the Readability application on a smartphone or tablet or computer browser.

The other way to use it is as a “Read Now” service, where the article of interest reformatted on the push of a button. These buttons are available easily enough from their website for desktop browsers like IE, Chrome or Safari. Unfortunately, they don’t have anything for mobile browsers.

Fortunately, someone figured out how to create a bookmarklet for a mobile browser to achieve the same affect.

I’ve been using the Dolphin Browser on my Nook and I am happy to report that the steps explained at the link work perfectly. Basically, go to the link using Dolphin; copy the Javascript code; create a new bookmark and paste the code into the URL box; finally, save it as a “Read Now” or some other suitable name. To use it, simply tap the bookmark when an article comes up in the browser that you’d like to read.

Trust me, you’ll be happy you did.

Categories
Family

Drama

I was bringing the boy to school from an orthodontist appointment. He had braces when he was young because his adult teeth came in so early. The braces were removed awhile ago, but the orthodontist (is there a short version of that? “Ortho” sounds like weed killer…) has him come back every 3 months to make sure the adjustment is holding. So far, it has.

About 5 minutes from the school, he sniffled. Again. He’s been doing it constantly for the past couple of days. Earlier, while waiting at the orthodontist’s, he’d asked me what he could do to unclog his nose. Since it was still single digits outside, I suggested going outside and breathing in the cold air for a few minutes. Hey, it’s worked for me in the past.

He’d come back in and said it didn’t work. When I asked him if he’d taken deep slow breaths in through his nose, he replied “OOOOOOOOOH…” Apparently, he’d been breathing through his mouth. So he went back out, then came back in. Still didn’t work. Oh well, I’m not a doctor.

But here, in the car, after this sniffle he let out a long exasperated sigh and whined “Why do I always get this stuffy nose for 2 months?”

First, he doesn’t always get a stuffy nose. Seconds, it’s been 2 days, maybe. Third, what’s with the random precision of “2 months”? Why not something more general like “for so long”? It was remarkable the amount of emotion his nose had unleashed.

I corrected his exaggerations, which he grudgingly admitted to. Regarding the “2 months” thing, he retorted “Either way, it’s been too long.”

The lass got up a bit late this morning as is her wont. When she got downstairs, she huffed around and grunted a bit and offered no civilized courtesies like “Good morning.”

Then she sat down to put on her shoes.

Words would fail to truly capture the spectacle. Well, no- that’s not entirely true. I just can’t remember the steady torrent of frustration that she verbalized as she struggled with her “stupid shoes.”

Too listen to her, one could be totally convinced that her shoes were sentient beings with the sole purpose of thwarting her every attempt to get them on properly. Every time she pulled them on, something was wrong- a sock was messed up, it didn’t feel right, the shoe’s tongue got bound up. Her frustration level grew as the minutes passed and the shoes continued to frustrate her. By the end, she was screaming at the top of her lungs at her stupid shoes.

The dogs had retreated to the far corners of the house. The Wife looked on with bemused astonishment. I drank coffee, then counted the minutes to 8 o’clock- far too many.

When finally she succeeded, breakfast became her next challenge. She’s never sure what to have in th mornings because “It’s always the same thing.” Never mind that this circumstance has as much to do with her own finickiness as it does with the fact that there are only so many things that can be prepared in a timely manner for breakfast. She finally settled on syrup with waffles, which she’d had yesterday.

Upon returning home from dropping off the boy, the house was quiet. The dogs made a brief fuss upon my entry, but quickly settled down as I went about a few chores this morning. I took care of a little laundry. Then, I finished tidying up the kitchen. I restocked the wood by the fireplace in an attempt to keep the house warm- it’s remarkable how difficult single digit temps can make that task.

When I was done, I walked over to the couch, sat down and picked up my Nook and started perusing through the news and other goings on via the web. I let out a deep breath, relaxed and thought “That wasn’t so bad.”

Categories
Family

Waffles with Her Syrup

Watching the lass eat waffles this morning, I realized she might not actually like the waffles. Rather, she just likes the pool of syrup that the waffles are drowning in along with the butter (or butter substitute) that melts and combines to form slicks in the syrup.

From this perspective, she’s basically performing a rescue operation for each piece of syrup-drizzling waffle she picks up from the plate. Poor thing gets tortured as she deliberates over which part she’ll rescue next, then she hacks away at it with her fork or knife. The syrup slopping over the sides of the plate in the mean time. The Perfect Storm on a breakfast plate.

I wonder, if we made her pour the leftover syrup back into the bottle, would that moderate her syrup usage? Not likely- the Wife or myself would need a wet-dry vac to clean up the syrup off the floor afterwards.

Categories
Misc

Cold

Today is Day 2 of the most recent cold snap, or deep freeze or whatever it’s called. It occurs that a “heat wave” is defined as 3 consecutive days with highs of 90 degrees (F) or higher, but as a far as I’m aware there is no equivalent for stretches of cold.

According to the short range forecast, temps won’t get above freezing again until next Monday- meaning 7 consecutive days with highs below freezing. Should this be a “cold wave”? Or perhaps we can come up with something catchier sounding for at least 3 days with temps below freezing, like…well, nothing clever comes to mind at the moment.

But surely consecutive days below freezing are worthy of some kind of moniker, right? I mean, water phase changes! That doesn’t even happen in a “heat wave.” Arguably, it’s more impressive.

Categories
Family

The Difference a Few Years Can Make

I don’t know if I was a typical new-parent when the boy was small. I tend to think I was, but mostly I just know that I’ve learned a lot in those years about parenting.

As least, I think I have.

I was one of those that, initially, saw every little thing the boy did, or didn’t do, as a predictor of what he would grow up to be. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, there was always a way to rationalize it into something important about the person he’d become. The way he walked, the toys he played with, the words he used, how much he whined or didn’t, which food he ate, what his favorite color was, whatever. I recall that I wasn’t sleeping much either at the time, so that might have had something to do with it.

Sometime, I’d talk to my parents about it and the conversation would go something like this:

Me: Hey, he just ate a bug. What’s that mean?

Mom: OH. MY. GOD. Do you know how many bugs you ate at that age? If I had a nickel for every bug…

Or if I talked to my Dad:

Me: Hey, he just ate a bug. What’s going to happen?

Dad: A bug, huh? What kind was it?

Me: I don’t know, small, black. Why?

Dad: Hmm. You didn’t eat anything like that that I can recall, so I can’t really help you in this case. Let me check with your Mother first…

By the time the lass came along and started doing all the same things the boy had done, I realized I didn’t have to be so paranoid about every little thing either of them did, or didn’t do. It was a major relief for everyone.

I thought of that today when the boy fell asleep on the way to his martial arts class. The car has always had that effect on him. Early on, I figured he’d grow out of it. Of course, for longer rides it was a blessing. For shorter rides, it drove me nuts because I was worried he’d wake up grumpy after such a short sleep. So I wouldn’t let him sleep, I’d keep waking him or distracting him. But he would be so tired and the car’s effects were so great that he’d be doing the bob-and-weave only seconds later.

The dojang is only a 20 minute ride away and he fell asleep at about the midpoint of the ride. I hadn’t even noticed it when it happened. I didn’t bother waking him. Didn’t even consider it. And I felt more than a bit foolish for all those times I had chosen otherwise.

He woke up like magic when we arrived at the dojang. Literally, the car ignition went off and his eyes opened, like they’re connected somehow. No grumpiness, and no problems going to his class.

After we’d arrived home and he’d eaten, he asked me “Did I fall asleep in the car today?”

I was confused initially- how could he not remember? So I answered “You mean on the way to karate? Yeah, you fell asleep. About halfway there I think.”

“Guess the car still does that to me,” he said kind of sheepishly. Then he added “But it’s no big deal, right?”

“Yep,” I replied nonchalantly. “No big deal at all.”

Categories
Football

Pats-Falcons Super Bowl Prediction

UPDATE:
Couldn’t have been more wrong if I intended it. Maybe then I’d have been right! Well, as they say “Go Big, or Go Home.” I chose Big. Wait ’til I make my Super Bowl pick…

I used to be more interested in the football prognostication game. But nowadays, my football consumption has dropped rather precipitously and with it has gone my interest in predicting games. I actually attribute this to the amount of football I consumed from my early teens into my mid-20’s or so. There just came a point where there was always something else to do come game day and a subconscious realization that, with the exception of the standout play or two, I’d seen about ever scenario that could play out on the football field. So anymore, when presented with a matchup, I can instantly imagine scenarios in which either team can win. It makes predicting seem more than a bit pointless.

So, all throat clearing completed now, I’m predicting that the Patriots and Falcons will advance to the Super Bowl this year.

I don’t think I need to justify much with the Patriots game- that’s a straight up pick-em as far as I’m concerned. Suffice it to say, Joe Flacco is not an elite quarterback. He’s more than a Trent Dilfer style manage-the-game dude, but he isn’t Tom Brady, Eli Manning or Ben Roethlisberger. Heck, he isn’t even a Peyton Manning. So Brady, along with a Pat’s D that reminds me of their earlier Super Bowl teams that on the strength of their defense, give the Patriots all the advantage they need.

As for the Falcons pick, I’m really basing it on one thing- Kaepernick having a bad game. Actually, I think it will be more like the Falcons D manages to force him into a bad game.

You see, I had an epiphany related to the QB position this year. To start, look at Cam Newton, who tore up the league last year. This year, not so much. Why? Defensive coordinators figured out his tendencies, figured out his comfort zone, and forced him to play outside of it. This is what defensive coordinators do. This year, we had a bunch of QB’s, mainly rookies, that the league had never seen before. Obviously, they’re a talented bunch and defensive coordinators simply hadn’t figured out how to game plan for them sufficiently.

I think the reason pocket passers thrive in the NFL is because they are the hardest to plan against because they are most effective at taking advantage of what a defense gives them. With QB’s that run, not so much. They need the ability to run to put a defense on it’s heels. But time has shown that a running QB can be neutralized and the coverage breakdowns that result from his running don’t materialize.

So, to summarize, I think the key to all the success of these young QB’s this year has been their shared newness to the league and for defensive scheming in general.

Last week, the Falcons came pretty close to figuring out Wilson. This week, I think they’ll get the job done on Kaepernick, who has benefited largely from being an unknown commodity. Thus, the Falcons move on and the 49ers come up bridesmaids once again.

Categories
Cub Scouts

Time for a Drink

After a morning filled with hockey, we had an afternoon filled with Pinewood Derby cars. I’m aware that it’s likely a bit tedious to keep hearing about this stuff, but the Pinewood Derby is the event for Cub Scouts. Every family turns out for it and how well it’s perceived to run is kind of a judgement on the competency of the leadership group. As I stated in my previous post, there’s a lot to account for and, correspondingly, a lot that can go wrong.

I’m happy to report that, even though it wasn’t completely smooth sailing, we passed with high marks today. We were ahead of schedule by 20 minutes after the first heat- we allotted 30 minutes for the heat and we were done with it after 15 minutes. The assigned inspection times actually worked out better than expected- all the cars for all of the heats were signed in with time to spare. My guess is the combination of knowing there was a time limit caused people to make sure they were prepared. Couple that with limiting the number of kids for each time slot and it just worked.

That’s not to say there weren’t a few surprises. The first one came during the first inspection. One of the kids had extended the wheel base of their car. The boy was a Tiger Scout, and I didn’t want his car not to run so I opted to allow it to run, but it would automatically be assigned a 3rd place finish- in short it was technically disqualified. I explained it to the Mom and she was OK with it. There really wasn’t an excuse for it as I had sent an extensive email explaining the rules for car design. I was very explicit about this in that email.

There was also the race where I accidentally impeded a car after starting the race. But I immediately declared a do-over, even before the cars finished, so it wasn’t a problem.

We even ended up having 4 qualifiers for our finals this year, instead of 3 like we typically have. Fortunately, I’d already thought of that possibility and we simply included the 4th car in the finals competition. Even though it was a first, it was a non-problem.

When it was all said and done, the boy made the semi-final round with his coffin car. I thought he overachieved, frankly. The lass tied for first in the sibling race with her parrot car. The boy showed signs of maturity, pouting for a bit because he didn’t make the finals, but getting over it pretty quickly and he didn’t snipe at his sister. A bonus was that everybody loved their cars, particularly the boy’s, which was quite unique.

There were some other cool cars as well, including a couple of Batmobiles, a Spiderman car, a Phineas and Pherb car, a salamander car complete with googly eyes, a hum-vee and Herby the Lovebug. For all the unique designs though, the top places were all basic variations on the wedge shape, which is a classic in winning Derby designs.

Our only issue during the race was stopping the cars. When we’d set things up, we used a carpet to with an incline to try and stop the cars. It worked well with our test cars, but not at all with the actual entries, which were much faster than the test cars. That’s something we’ll have to figure out for next year.

But first, I’m going to have a drink.

Categories
Cub Scouts

There Will Be Only One

So, tomorrow is my first Pinewood Derby that I’m in charge of, responsible for, however it’s best to think about it. I’ve helped out with two in the past, but others took care of all the planning. Right now, looking towards it, I can say I’m looking forward to it being done.

As much as the event itself is basically dropping cars down a ramp, it turns out there’s a lot more that goes into it from a preparation perspective. There are the trophies that have to be ordered. There are room arrangements that have to be made. There are people that have to be coordinated before the event for setup, during the event for running it, and after the event for cleanup. We have to come up with car rules for everyone to build their cars according to. We have to come race rules to handle fuzzy cases like ties or cars jumping their track (it does happen.) I’ve probably missed a few things, but it’s pretty obvious that dropping cars down a ramp is the easiest part of the whole day.

We have a smaller Pack this year, only 20 or so, so I decided to try an experiment that we hadn’t done in the previous Derbies I’d helped out with. We decided to pre-assign the kids to certain heats and then schedule times for them to get their car inspected and when their heat will race. In past years, we’ve simply opened up the event with the inspection and then waited for everyone to complete inspection prior to starting the race. There was a lot of down time with this method, and we still had multiple heats to run.

The goal with pre-assigning heats this year was to reduce the congestion at the inspection line. It’s one thing for a set number of people to weigh their cars and try to tune the weight as close to the 5 ounce limit as possible. It’s another for everyone in the Pack trying to do it. The line gets long and some people go back up multiple times attempting to “make weight.” By limiting the number of people who can submit their cars for inspection, we can limit the line length and, hopefully, keep things moving.

Further, once we get the first heat squared away, the second heat will be able to get their cars inspected and ready for their heat. Thus, we create a diversion of sorts that will serve to make the race day seem shorter because there will be something going on almost constantly.

Aside from that, we’ll also have a DVD running showing Herbie the Lovebug or Cars or something like that. Plus, there will be pizza which is always a hit.

I’m fortunate as well in that I’ve got a core group of people who are all capable and more than willing to help out wherever help is needed. No grousing or complaining. That alone makes my job a helluva lot easier.

Come this time tomorrow night, the Derby will be well over with. At least, it had better be. There will be one very happy Scout with bragging rights over everyone else. And there will be one tired Cubmaster, relieved to have it behind him.

Categories
Family

Like a Rock

Dinner can be a frustrating thing at times around here, mostly due to the lass’ finickiness. And by finicky, I don’t mean she only likes each food a certain way, though there is that to some degree, rather what she likes changes with a rather startling amount of frequency.

So while at the grocery store today, I saw they had salmon fillets for $7 a pound, which was just too good to pass up. We hadn’t had salmon in awhile anyway. My only hesitation was I couldn’t remember what the lass’ opinion on salmon was at the moment. My recollection was it was in a “thumbs up” cycle, I just couldn’t be sure. But between the Wife, the boy and myself I figured my odds were good enough.

Well, it turned out I was wrong. Salmon was in a “thumbs down” cycle.

It was obvious from the moment she returned from dance that she wasn’t happy. I mean, sure, she wandered by the salmon fillets on the counter and declared them “gross.” But it was obvious based on how she’d entered that the Wife had informed her that salmon was on the menu and she wasn’t happy about it. She had a sour look on her face, her shoulders were slumped, her general demeanor was that exaggerated fatigue kids do when they aren’t in the mood to cooperate. She was oozing “pain in the ass.”

She actually disappeared just prior to serving the food and I was tempted to not make the effort to find her. Why ruin my own meal? Parental discipline won out though, as I found her in the next room. She slouched towards her chair and I gave her a couple of mouthfuls of salmon on her plate.

Miraculously, about halfway through dinner, her plate still basically untouched and shoved off to the side, the boy convinced her to try a bite of the salmon. He even proposed that I offer her a reward for at least trying it.

She took a bite and finished it.

Then, she took another bite and finished that one as well.

Finally, she begrudgingly reached over to her plate and pulled it in front of her. She picked up her fork, and she began to eat. In between mouthfuls, she muttered “I liked it better than I thought I would.”

And just like that, salmon is back in the “thumbs up” cycle.

Categories
Misc

My Last Post Ever on Lance Armstrong

Given his big interview tomorrow, which I won’t watch and don’t have any interest in at this point, I thought I’d just point out that 2-and-a-half years ago I called it correctly regarding his PED usage.

At the time, I also wrote that I’d like to be wrong. I still wish that were the case. I think a world in which a guy with an extraordinary gift who honed it to levels unheard of before him is a better world to live in than the one we are now in, where the guy’s gift was at deception.

One thing I will pay attention to tomorrow is the Manti Te’o press conference where he’ll explain this bizarre girlfriend story. I didn’t follow his final season all that closely, but he seems like a decent kid with a talent for football. I bear him no ill will and thus have no reason to prejudge him. I think it’s perfectly reasonable that he got snookered, badly, and upon realizing it had trouble accepting the humiliating reality. I expect he’ll be owning up to that embarrassment tomorrow as best he can, given his youth and status.

Like Armstrong, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Unlike Armstrong, I’m hopeful that he wasn’t part of this prank. I also think that’s a better world to live in than th alternative.

Categories
Cub Scouts

Finished Cars

Categories
Family

Can Dads Do Anything Right

Saw this just now and followed the link. It’s related to a recent car commercial where a father and son are tossing a baseball together. The boy has horribly throwing form and the father is being patient and encouraging, only to reveal that he has worse throwing form than his son. So they sit there together tossing it back and forth next to this car.

To be honest, until I read the above links, I had no idea it was for a Passat.

I was actually talking about this commercial with the Wife and a friend yesterday. They both had theories about what the point of the commercial was- linking to the fact that it was a rugged car and people could comfortably throw a baseball next to it with horrible form.

Personally, I think it’s one of the genre of commercials where something amusing happens but you can’t for the life of you remember what the commercial was for. There are tons of these out there with clever little punch-liney setups, but don’t really have anything to do with product being sold. So, while the marketing firm gets an ‘A’ for creating a memorable TV moment, they get an ‘F’ for creating a useless ad- because no one can remember what the heck they’re selling after it’s over.

As for the stereotyping of Dads, well, see my previous post for whether or not we can be useful. For that matter, peruse the bread category or the woodworking category to get a feel for my personal answer. I also remember my own Father’s handiness while we were growing up- it’s the stuff of legend around our family. Not that everything went like clockwork, but “buffoon” is not a word you’d use to describe my Dad. I’ll let my kids judge me when the time comes.

More generally, to be honest, this sort of stuff rarely bothers me and when it does it’s more a fatigue of seeing the same silliness over and over. Everybody Loves Raymond was funny for about 2 episodes for me, then it was tedious, then it was uninteresting. I reckon that show made it’s living on the “Dad as buffoon” theme.

There’s also something a little unseemly about getting all upset about how Hollywood portrays Dads. I mean, do I need Hollywood to reaffirm the fact that I’m not a doofus? Hardly, and I can’t imagine the day will ever come that it does concern me. They need their story material, and apparently there’s a niche for this kind of thing. I think Dads do themselves more good by simply laughing it off, rather than playing an identity politics game.

Categories
Misc

How to Fix a Leaky Faucet

As I was sitting here pondering a universe in which the Patriots are in yet another Championship game, the Wife come down the stairs and informs me that “The faucet has a steady stream and I can’t get it to stop. I tried turning the handle as far as I could and it still won’t shut off.” She doesn’t have to say the last part because it’s obvious, I need to fix it.

I’ve done this before and I know exactly what I’ll need: my pair of force grips and a set of allen wrenches. I got half-way up the steps and had a brilliant idea: I’ll blog it! Complete with pictures! It would be the my most tedious post yet!

Hey, I’ve been sniffing paint today, as opposed to pine, from the kid’s derby cars. I’ll get to those in another post.

Continue reading “How to Fix a Leaky Faucet”
Categories
Cub Scouts Woodworking

Pinewood Derby Cars

I’m tempted to say “normally”, but I think that conveys a longer time period than 2 years. Or, at least, it implies that I’ve participated in more than 2 Pinewood Derby’s, or is it “derbies?” To tell, you the truth in all the excitement I just forgot… Maybe it’s because I’ve been building 2 Derby cars each of the past 3 years and that makes it just seem longer. Then again, maybe I’m just strung out from sniffing pine all day. You can huff pine, right? Parents these days…

So today, I did not watch any playoff football. Rather, well, I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now.

HEY!! How ’bout a picture?

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If that looks like a coffin care and a bird car, pat yourself on the back. If it doesn’t, then what the hell is wrong with you? Of course it’s a coffin car and a bird car. Seriously, what else could they be? Wait, no. Don’t answer that. They just need a paint job and wheels is all. Hey, coffins are hard to carry. And birds get tired flying around. It can happen. Especially after huffing pine all day.

Here’s another angle…

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I should have taken a few pictures of the bird car during construction. More specifically, it’s supposedly going to become an African Grey Parrot car, but first it needs a lot of paint. Luckily, we have the lass.

The basic shape I cut out on the band saw, including a fair amount around the head and shoulder area. But the beak and neck shaping I accomplished with my chisels. Thank God it’s pine, because it smells sooooooo good. I could just sniff it all day. And it’s soft, but not like a baby’s bottom. After the rough shaping, the sandpaper smoothed everything out and improved the look. It took me most of Friday afternoon to get that much done.

Today, I spent working on the boy’s coffin car. He saw a picture on the web of a skeleton coming out of a coffin for a derby car design and decided that’s what he wanted. Because I’m a fool, I didn’t talk him out of it.

So to the point pictured so far, most of that is cut by hand. The coffin shape I managed with my dovetail saw, making the down cut first and then coming in from the side second. I clamped it in my bench vise for all these cuts. After that, I used the bandsaw to slice the top, which would eventually become the lid for the coffin. Those slots on the to-be-lid are the original axle slots that the blank has. I drill holes on the opposite side for the axles, so the original bottom becomes the top. In a normal car, those slots would get cut off and discarded.

This is not a normal car.

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So at this point I’ve hollowed out the coffin and also rabbeted the lid for a nice, custom fit. I actually accomplished the hollowing with a 1/2 inch upcutting spiral bit for my router that I mounted in my drill press. I hogged out the majority of the wood with that, then cleaned up the edges with a chisel. As for the lid, I scribed the rabbet depth with my marking gauge then used a 5/16 inch rabbeting plane. I just cut the rabbet down until those slots juuust disappeared when viewed from the edge.

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At this point, I added some hinges to the lid and then a chain on the at what would be the top I suppose though in the picture it’s the bottom. It’s all so confusing. Where’s some pine?

The hinges I found at Michael’s for a buck, the chain is a piece of a chain necklace I also found at Michael’s. I used a nail from a picture hanger since it was small enough to fit through the links of the chain. It gives it a nice look. I’ve also got some other decorations for the outside that will have to wait for the paint job.

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I think that’s Mini-Me. Or maybe a distant cousin…

Best moment of the day?

The boy is working on the axle nails, filing down the ribs near the head so the wheels won’t have something to bind up on- it’s one of those speed tricks you pick up on competing in Derby’s. Anyway, the nail is mounted in the chuck of my drill press, spinning away at roughly 600RPM and the boy is using a piece of that silicate wet sand paper with, like 1500 grit. He’s working on his 3rd or so nail and he says to me “Making a Derby car sure is a lot of work, huh Dad?”

I didn’t answer ’cause I was too busy sniffing pine.

Categories
Computers

A Lovely Way to Spend a Friday Evening

UPDATE: Well, after trying a bunch of stuff, I installed Spyhunter software and that did the trick. There were other things out there like rkill to try and stop the virus from running, but I had no success with it. If you want to kill the process, start up the Task Manager and look for a .exe process that has a name with 3 random letters. If you can kill that process, then you’ll gain the ability to use the browser again, at which point you can download SpyHunter, install it and run it. It costs $40, but it’s better than having the virus running on it.

To be honest, at this point I can’t even remember why I sat down at the Wife’s computer lo those many hours ago. All I know is that when I did, I was bombarded with dire warnings of security threats to my computer, spyware was infesting the machine, dogs and cats living together- MASS HYSTERIA!

But not to worry, because a “friendly” program call “Win 7 Ineternet Security 2013” was on the case and could fix all my problems. But in order to do that, I needed to purchase it and lo and behold up would pop a friendly screen asking me for all my credit card info.

That’s when the red flags went up. In fact, by that point, several flags had gone up and something seemed suspicious. I don’t want to get into it in too great a detail, since some malicious prick might happen across this and build a better mousetrap next time. Suffice it to say, I smelled a rat.

So I went to my LINUX computer, which doesn’t get infected with the nasties, and looked into it. I simply typed “Win 7 Internet Security” into the search bar, and, unfortunately, my suspicions were confirmed. The good news is that it’s unlikely I’d done any real harm to myself. The bad news is I’ve got to figure out how to remove this little bugger.

For the moment, my one advantage is it seems to have victimized the boy’s account on the computer. Which means I can log on as the Wife and access the network without this virus blocking me. But as yet, I’ve been unable to remove it. Some software that could supposedly help, well, hasn’t and I’m currently trying another piece of software, while in Safe Mode.

Which, incidentally, seems to be completely pointless. The virus is alive and well while in safe mode, blocking me from normal internet access through the boy’s account. So what’s the point of a “Safe Mode” if it’s anything but?

Anyway, keep an eye out for this, it does a good job of looking like a legit piece of virus software. Just know if you see “Win 7 Internet Security” software suddenly come to life, it’s anything but that.

I’ll update when I successfully remove the damn thing.

Categories
Cub Scouts

BEHOLD! The Monkey’s Fist!

Alright, so the boy and his buddies weren’t the only ones bit by the knot tying bug the other night.

I first saw this knot during our trip to Battleship Cove last year. One of the other Dad’s pointed it out because of the name. It was just the sort of thing to stick with me.

So after the meeting the other night, one of the Dad’s mentioned that he had a book on knots and would be happy to lend it to me so I could learn some other interesting, useful knots. I figured he’d bring it along to the next meeting, or even forget about it. As it turned out, he dropped it off in my mailbox yesterday.

Naturally, the first thing I looked for was the monkey’s fist knot and to my delight, there it was. And to my surprise, it looked relatively easy form. The process is a 3 series of loops wrapped around each other with the sole trick being in the transition from on set of loops to the next. So I set about trying to accomplish it with a piece of shoelace I had, but had no success because the shoe lace is so soft and pliable.

Fortunately, I had the twine from the other night which was much better suited to the task. Turns out there are two difficulties with completing the monkey’s fist knot: the first is the knot has to be tightened, which requires drawing all the slack through all the loops in the knot; the second is trying to keep all of the loops neatly ordered during that tightening phase. Still, when it’s done there’s a nice sense of satisfaction. It’s an interesting looking knot.

Here’s the wiki page for it. I can confirm the weighting of the rope and being able to use it to aid in tossing. The book I used ends the section by noting that the monkey’s fist can consist of sets of loops of 3, 4 or even 5 and then suggesting that a fun pasttime might be to successfully embed a 3-looper inside a 4-looper inside a 5-looper. I don’t know how much rope that would take up, but it might indeed be an interesting way to spend some time…

Categories
Computers

Flipboard

So, apropos my issues with the Pulse Reader app I’ve been having, I decided to start looking into other possibilities. Really, this is the biggest problem any product- when things have degraded to the point where a customer decides to look elsewhere for solutions.

I’ve known about Tatptu and even tried it, but ultimately didn’t like it. The interface was similar, but different from Pulse in the wrong way for me. Plus, it seemed to have difficulties updating the various feeds I like to read.

As it turns out, a friend had shown me a slick little app called Flipboard and it just so happens to be available on the Barnes & Noble App Store. The interface was very different from Pulse, but still very intuitive. It also has a large selection of feeds and categories and also has some topical categories where multiple feeds are presented in through a single “board.”

The interface itself consists of a grid of tiles with the various feeds, be they RSS, Twitter or other. If there are enough feeds, then there will be multiple pages of these tiled layouts. To move through them, simply swipe like a book and the current page “flips” to the next one presenting the next set of feeds.

When a feed is selected, say National Geographic for instance, a summary view of the articles from the feed are then presented in a variety of layouts that can be paged through with the swiping and flipping. Touching an article allows for reading it. To exit from reading an article, simply use a two-finger touch and the interface returns to the summary view of articles.

In all, it’s a pleasant experience and, near as I can tell anyway, the program is very stable. I’ve yet to crash it in normal usage.

There are several other niceties which I’ve yet to take advantage of like “Read Later” services, the ability to filter out certain authors and a few other things. For those of you using Google Reader, there’s a way to configure it to access your Google Reader account and present that as a channel. It also can serve as a Twitter client, simply enter your Twitter account info and then your Twitter timeline will be presented just like any other feed; thus, potentially eliminating the need for a dedicated Twitter client. It also supports Facebook news feeds and status. Nice.

Another nice feature is the “Cover Story” feed which appears to present a sampling of the latest musings from all of configured feeds. Thus, it creates a quick way to see if there’s anything of interest. Looking into the help a bit, this appears to be some kind of “learning” feed that picks out thing you might like based on the articles you choose to read.

The hardest part, by far, is the setup. The builtin search for feeds is pretty good as long as they are of the mainstream variety. Unfortunately, I had a few favorites that just could not be found. Fortunately, it’s possible for Flipboard to find them by providing a full URL for the feed. Thus, I spent some time finding the RSS feeds with a browser, copying them to the clipboard, then pasting them into the Flipboard search.

Initially, my only hang-up was with some of the built-in feed search results- they seemed to get stuck and wouldn’t present updated information. Once I provided my own URL’s for those feeds, those problems went away. The only other complaint is that not all of the articles are presented in strict chronological fashion. The designers say that because they take article presentation issues into account. That said, I haven’t seen anything too egregious to complain about, nothing like articles from months ago being presented at the beginning of a feed.

All of the expected “social” functions appear to be available, though aside from configuring my Twitter timeline, I haven’t made use of them as yet.

So, in summary we’ve got a program that can be configured to present the information I’m interested in using an attractive presentation template with an intuitive UI. Configuration was the only PITA, but that’s a one time thing and gets easier as I become familiar with it. Plus, most importantly, it doesn’t crash during normal usage. I’ve found myself using it more and more and Pulse less and less as my confidence grows that I’m getting the most recent stuff.

Categories
Cub Scouts

Knots

I had my first den meeting of the New Year today, and I learned something: boys like ropes and knots.

In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been surprised by this at all. I remember playing with ropes at various points. Either as part of some game or just sitting and tying knots in some kind of pattern or trying to figure out some knew way to make a knot. But I guess we forget some of these things, until present with such an occasion to remind us that, yes, we too were kids once.

For the record, I taught them the square knot, slip knot and bowline knot. I used a heavier twine because I figured it would be easier for them to manipulate than a floppy string or otherwise. I even showed them how to whip the ends of the rope with a piece of masking tape to keep it from fraying.

I really expected them to start tuning me out once I started demonstrating the knots- I just figured it would be the sort of thing they’d try, have trouble with and then get bored. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Every single one of them wanted to tie each knot themselves. I demonstrated the tying over and over and over again and in a few cases worked with the kids individually to help them figure out the process. Even more remarkable, they weren’t satisfied with their knot after I’d helped them- they still wanted to be able to do it without any help.

So for almost 45 minutes, we sat and tied knots together in the den meeting. Amusingly, I purposely waited until the end of the meeting to work on the knots because I was so sure they’d be over and done with it so quickly. My mistake meant some of the kids ended up staying almost 30 minutes later than I’d originally planned. Parent’s were showing up and waiting on their son because they insisted on finishing their knots.

So now, I’m thinking I’ll try teaching them a new knot at each remaining meeting. After today’s experience, why knot?