Tag: the lass

The lass had a meltdown this morning, over eggs. Actually, it’s probably fair to say that everyone but the boy had a meltdown over eggs this morning. Ironically, he’s the only one who didn’t at least try to have eggs this morning.

She started with the best of intentions. She wanted to make eggs for herself and the Wife. She planned on making them scrambled with some ham and cheese on them, which the Wife has a fondness for. Eggs are easy enough to cook up and we let both kids prepare them all the time and they’re actually fairly decent at it anymore.

Trouble started brewing shortly after she started cooking them. She’d scrambled 4 eggs and she became convinced that 4 eggs weren’t going to be enough for her and the Wife. She started to protest that she should make more. The Wife tried to assuage her fears and said that what she had would be plenty.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t good enough. Somehow, the situation deteriorated quickly into a shouting match. The lass HAD to make more eggs, if she didn’t she wouldn’t have enough for herself. The Wife was insisting it was all fine. The lass stomped off, leaving the eggs cooking. The Wife got up in a huff, incredulous that the lass just left everything there. She finished cooking the eggs and prepared a couple of plates, at which point the lass returned.

And immediately made the situation worse.

Now, she was upset because she had meant to serve the Wife her eggs. Her mood became darker. With a great “harrumph” she folded her arms across her chest and stared at her eggs. I think she was trying to burn them, but I can’t be sure. The Wife tried to calm her down and get her to eat. They got as far as sitting down with the plate in front of her. But she refused to eat her eggs.

At which point, I finally got involved. And not for the better.

The lass bellowed about how her breakfast was ruined. The Wife bellowed back that she was being ridiculous and that there was nothing wrong with her eggs and all she had to do was eat. I bellowed above them both. The lass started crying. The dogs were cowering. The boy was somewhere else on the planet. I think the bird were staring in slack-beaked amazement the train-wreck before them. The cat was, well, where the hell the cat was.

Since she was refusing to eat the eggs, I grabbed her plate and started eating them myself. Now she cried harder because she suddenly really wanted the eggs. The Wife got smart and walked away from the whole thing. I continued to eat the eggs and told the lass I didn’t want to hear anything else from her until she’d eaten something. So she got up and prepared herself a bowl of cereal, which is probably what she should have done from the get go.

It will probably be a few mornings before she has eggs again.

Even for kids.

Our driveway has a large sheet of ice on it.  It’s the logical outcome of all the snow we’ve had.  I couldn’t remove it all with the snow thrower, so the snow that is left behind gets crushed and compacted by the cars.  Throw in a couple warm spells with some rain and everything is there to turn the snow pack into ice.

The state is, literally, out of salt.  I’ve tried several hardware stores on multiple occasions and they have none and further, they don’t know when more is arriving.  So the only option at this stage is sand, which I finally did after an infuriatingly embarassing spectacle I made of myself while trying to get our car up the driveway earlier this week.

It snowed a bit last night.  Not much- a good coating is all.  But that amount of snow on top of ice is like throwing ball bearings down on a marble floor.

I’ve told the kids not to run down the driveway on the ice so many times now that I don’t bother anymore.  So when we were walking down from the bus dropping them off after school, their usual shenanigans barely registered.  The lass paused for a moment and the boy and I continued towards the house.

I heard the lass start to sing a happy little jingle as she started to skip.

Then I heard the unmistakable sound of a food slipping, followed by the thud of the lass hitting the ground.  I have to admit, I was a little surprised.

I turned and there she was, on her side.  A little whimper popped out of her as the pain from the impact began to register.  She had fallen on her hip.  Not badly though, as when she got up to clean herself off, there were no holes in her stockings and there were also no blood stains from nicks or scrapes.

Nonetheless, she continued to whimper.

I consider it an “I told you so” moment but did’t say anything other than to ask if she was going to make it.  She answered by nodding while continuing to whimper.

We made it to the house and she went to her room to change and assess her injuries.  She came downstairs and showed me a slightly dinged knee, followed by telling me that she had all these scrapes on the side of her leg.  I asked her if they were bleeding and she replied “No, but they are all red.”  I told her if they weren’t bleeding then they didn’t count.  The look on her face was enough to let me know she wasn’t buying that.

But if nothing else, she knows now that ice is slippery.

At last night’s Blue and Gold Banquet, there was an appetizer table with a variety of food stuff from Rice Krispy Squares to pretzels to carrots.  We held the kids off from the table for as long as we could, then allowed the stampede to begin.

The lass had a bunch of cookies to start.  Then, she went and had an equal number of carrots.

She said the carrots were to balance out the cookies.

#Facepalm.

The Wife, the boy and I are currently watching National Treasure. We were looking for something fun to watch for a movie tonight and, since it’s Saturday, the kids get a little leeway on their bedtimes. The Wife and I figured this was a fun movie to watch since it was a mystery-puzzle type movie with a little action and nothing overly objectionable for a younger crowd.

Perhaps you noticed someone is missing from that list of viewers.

The lass wanted nothing to do with it. She doesn’t like mystery movies. She doesn’t like puzzle movies. She huffed. She puffed. She pouted. She harrumphed.

And when the movie went in the Blue Ray player, she left the room.

She went into another room with a couch and laid down with a blanket and did… nothing.

After the movie had been on awhile, I went in to check her. The blanket was wrapped around her head and laid across her body. She was facing the back of the couch with her arms crossed. She was fast, asleep.

I left her there in the room and turned the light off. Best to let sleeping monsters lie.

“Dad, what does ‘U’, ‘R’, ‘A’ spell?” the lass asked me.

She was staring at a piece of candy. One of those soft sugar kinds that melts in the mouth. These also have little notes written on them.

“Does it have any other words on it?” I asked.

“Yeah, it has ‘STAR’ on it. But what does ‘U’, ‘R’, ‘A’ spell? I don’t get that..” she trailed off.

How best to get her to see the light?

“Read it again,” I told her.

“Letter ‘U’, letter ‘R’, letter ‘A’, STAR,” she said.

Facepalm

Should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. But perhaps with just a little more coaxing…

“Read it again without saying ‘letter’ before each letter,” I said.

“‘U’ ‘R’ ‘A’ STAR,” she read.

She then stared at the candy for a moment and said “Oh.”

Or perhaps it was ‘O”.

The lass’ day started with an early rise to go to breakfast with Mom. Mom does this with each kid exactly once each year. She had to have her lunch packed and ready to go because the arrival time back at home is tough to predict. Today, they got home with plenty of time to spare and she even got to watch some cartoons before we headed off to school.

Rather than dropping them off at the school door, today I was bringing them in the front door. I had to drop off a snack that the Wife and the lass worked on together last night. It’s something that the Wife and her Mom used to make together. I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s a combination of chocolate cake and chocolate pudding with M&M’s for a topping. There’s not a lot to dislike there, especially if you’re a kid.

The force of habit is a strong one and I whiffed when we arrived at school. I actually proceeded to the normal drop off point. The lass pointed out my error, so I had to execute a circle to re-enter the parking lot and then park so I could drop off the kids and the snack.

The afternoon was spent in preparation of the lass’ dinner. She wanted stromboli. In fact, she wanted 2: one with pepperoni and cheese and the other with ham, pineapple and cheese. I wasn’t totally keen on either, so I through a third one in there for the meat lovers at the table made with sausage, hamburg and cheese. So I had to prep 3 batches of dough with plenty of rise time for them.

The kids arrived home at he usual time in the usual way. Although, the lass was missing something as she trotted down the driveway. She informed me that in her excitement to get home she’d forgotten the tray with the treats on it. No biggie though, since I’m sure she’ll remember it tomorrow.

Shortly after the kids got home, the Grandparents arrived. That was a surprise for the lass. And then a little after the Grandparents arrived the Aunt arrived. That wasn’t a surprise for the lass since she had called to invite her over. I was busy completing the stromboli so I had the kids greet them at the door as well as take care of the dogs. The rest of the evening was pleasant as her Grandparents visited, ate, watched her open presents and then had some sundae’s for dessert.

The lass was high on the attention from the day. Her brother was a good sport today as well. He didn’t pull any jealous routines and was willing to let the lass bask in her glory for the day. There was one hiccup in the evening when they went at each other’s throats. I just attributed that to coming down from the sugar high from dessert. Either way, things settled down as quickly as they had flared up.

From that point it was a short trip to bed time. The Grandparents and Aunt had left by then and everyone was settling in from the bustle of the early evening. The kids had exercised a few of the goodies the lass had received. Done with that, they went upstairs and got ready for bed. The lass went to sleep a happy camper. She’d very much enjoyed her day.

With the Wife away until late this evening, well after the kids were done with school, the lass had to make an important decision: what would she wear to school?

She’d been planning to wear a “cat” outfit consisting of a favorite shirt a cat necklace and cat earrings. The problem was she isn’t proficient enough yet at putting in her own earrings. With the Wife away, that meant she’d have to entrust me with putting her earrings in.

She opted for a different outfit today.

Shockingly, I’m not too offended she didn’t trust me with her earrings.

Perhaps it’s because it’s the first full week back from Christmas vacation. Perhaps it’s because it’s been so cold. Perhaps it’s because there’s not enough snow on the ground.

Whatever the reason, the lass has been a royal pain in the ass this week.

It begins with complaining about “nothing to eat for breakfast.” This is after she eliminates eggs, sausage, waffles, bread, peanut butter and cereal. Perhaps our morning selection is a bit thin by restaurant standards, but she’s complaining to a guy that’s been eating eggs and sausage for breakfast every day for the past 15 months or so. I’m not terribly sympathetic and at 6:30 in the morning, neither is the Wife.

It continues with complaining about all the personal hygiene stuff. She doesn’t want to comb her hair. She doesn’t want to brush her teeth. She doesn’t want to do anything that she deems as inconvenient, which can be anything depending on which direction the wind is blowing that morning.

Life doesn’t get easier when she returns from school. She doesn’t want to do her homework. It’s stupid and boring, or boring and stupid for a variation. She doesn’t like practicing her math. She doesn’t like to do her reading and the writing is dumb. Come dinner time, she typically hates whatever it is.

So yesterday, she returned home from school with her brother whom sat down and started playing with his laptop. The lass immediately began hanging all over him. I let it slide initially, but then the two of them started yelling at each other while I was on the phone and I had to interrupt my phone conversation to shut them down. The women on the other end, when I resumed our conversation, said “Wait until their teenagers.” I retorted “They may not make it that far.”

Shortly after I got off the phone, there was more bickering. Fed up, I looked over and once again the lass was hanging all over her brother while he was trying to work on his computer. I told her to get away from him and go find something to do. She huffily planted her fanny on the couch, put on a grimace and growled “I don’t want to do anything else.”

“If I have to separate you again, you’ll go spend time in the corner, then the rest of the evening in your room,” was my reply. I turned my attention back to what I had been working on and left her there on the couch.

Less than 30 seconds later, the boy is screaming at her to get off of him. I looked over and sure enough, she’s literally sitting on top of him again.

“Alright,” I announced. The lass whirled around at me, eyes wide and went immediately to the couch. “I guess you thought I was joking, so now I have to show that I meant it.” She started crying as I took her to the corner.

I completed what I had been doing and then started working to get some dinner going. I kept tabs on the lass to make sure she wasn’t cheating on her stint in the corner. After about 15 minutes, I sent her to her room. She stomped upstairs.

She came back down for dinner where she frowned at what I put in front of her. She ate it though, without any comments. After she finished, she grabbed some reading and went back upstairs.

I checked in with her a bit later and her general attitude was much improved. I tried to talk to her about what’s been bugging her. There was no illumination to be had, she simply rehashed that she though everything at school was boring. Before I left, she offered me her math flash cards and I went through them with her. As I left, she asked “Dad, can I come downstairs for a little while?”

I softened my tone, but was unyielding “I’d like to kiddo, but I told you what would happen and I meant it. I don’t know why you insist on being so difficult this week, but its finally caught up with you tonight.”

She then tried to blame her brother for whining and getting her in trouble. I knew this was coming and was ready for it. “Your brother did not make you come and sit on top of him. I did not warn your brother about consequences- I warned you, clearly. You either forgot them or chose to ignore them. It’s one thing if you had been standing behind him, not even touching him. You were literally sitting in his lap. The only one at fault here is you.”

She was silent at that. No comebacks. No arguing. No “but but but’s.” I left her there in her room.

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The lass came downstairs this morning. She put her lunch together. She made her mother breakfast (eggs) and herself breakfast. Cereal with strawberries. She got dressed without complaint, brushed her teeth without being told and combed her hair without complaining. She even emptied the dishwasher without having been asked.

Newly reformed? Or rebounding from her low last night?

I know which way I’m betting.

Let the record show that on this day, the 26th of December in the year 2013 of our Lord, the lass finished her first chapter book. It was a kid’s version of Frozen, the current Disney movie out in theatres and was about 125 pages long.

After her victory, she did not declare that she’d be going to Disneyworld. She did ask when she could see the movie though.

Growing up, we didn’t have any of these silly days that the kids now have at school. There are silly hat days and twin days and comfy-cozy days and other days that I’ve forgotten. Today was pajama day at the school.

The lass came downstairs and remained in her pajamas all morning, just like her brother did. By “all morning” I’m merely referring to the time period from when they got up to when it was time to go to school. If she’d managed the real “all morning” then I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this post.

The kids were basically all ready for school and I told them it was time to go. That was when the lass got a serious case of cold feet.

She started complaining that her teacher wouldn’t know that today was pajama day and she would get in trouble for wearing pajamas. Suffice it to say, this reasoning made no sense. The boy knew what day it was, there was no conceivable way that a teacher wouldn’t as well.

She stuck to her guns and slowly worked herself into tearful frenzy over the issue. Seeing that things were hitting “ridiculous”, I quietly went outside to the car to start warming it up and left it up to her if she wanted to change. The only thing was, she had to choose quickly because we couldn’t wait forever or they would be late for school.

While the boy and I sat out in the car while it warmed up, the Wife stuck her head out the door and gave us some kind of signal. I figured the lass was changing clothes and she just needed another minute or two. Sure enough, the lass emerged from the door a short time later wearing black clothing- something the Wife had chosen for her.

The boy wanted to make a big deal, but I told him to knock it off and reminded him that it was fine if she didn’t want to wear her pajamas to school. There is no requirement to participate in this stuff.

As to what was really going on in the lass’ head, only she knows that. She’s stuck to her guns regarding her irrationality. In the end, it turned out she was the only one in her class that didn’t wear pajamas, but that didn’t seem to bother her much. I guess she gets credit for that, anyway.