Tag: the lass

The lass first picked up on the concept of “calling shotgun” while watching a Scooby Doo cartoon. Who says they can’t pick up valuable life lessons from a cartoon.

It was amusing they way it played out. I heard the exchange on the cartoon, Shaggy called it for what that’s worth, and I wondered if either of the kids would pick up on it. The lass did, as it turned out. She asked me what it meant to “call shotgun.” I think she’d caught on but just wanted to confirm her understanding of what she heard. I explained it and then continued about my business, which at the time was finishing some coffee.

When it came time to get in the car, nothing happened. They both got in without any issues. I figured the revelation from the cartoon had simply fallen flat.

I’ll note at this point that I’ve taken no active role in the whole shotgun experience. Aside from letting either child feel like it’s their spot, I, and the Wife, have chosen to take no sides in the conflict. Resolving their disputes is an exercise entirely up to them.

It was the next day when the lass attempted to call shotgun. She was behind her brother getting out the door and I could hear her stammering “Shot… shot…. I call shot… ” I called out to her “It’s ‘I call shotgun‘.” She immediately corrected herself as they walked down the sidewalk.

Her brother said, and I quote, “Whatever.” Then got in the car.

Words only have power if they are allowed to.

After that, the notion of calling shotgun was dropped for awhile. I figured that would be it until they had the experience riding with their friends.

Unexpectedly, the lass tried it again recently. Even more surprising, the boy yielded to the call and allowed his sister to obtain the front seat. Most surprising of all was that he didn’t whine about it.

Curious, I asked him why he’d changed his mind about it. He replied it was the rules of the game, so he figured he ought to follow them. I suspect he chose to honor it with the intention that he’d visit it back on the lass someday soon. He didn’t want to afford her the excuse that he hadn’t listened when she did it so she won’t listen when he uses it.

Whatever his reasoning, we now have the opportunity for more civilized determination of who rides shotgun. We’ll see if that comes to pass.

The boy didn’t sleep well last night.  I didn’t either.  That’s just coincidence.  When he has trouble sleeping, he typically comes into the room and wakes up the Wife to let her know.  Last night, he got my attention since I was already awake.  It was very late and I told him he needed to relax.

He went back to his room.

After a second visit from him, I got up to check on him because that seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  I doubt too many of us enjoy getting out of bed at late hours like that and I’m no exception. When I got to his room, I saw that he was curled up on the bed facing his alarm clock.  He was just staring at the display.  I looked at it long enough to note it was after midnight, then turned it away from him.  I told him he should never stare at a clock when he’s having trouble sleeping because the light from the clock will make it harder to fall asleep.  I went back to bed and that was the last of it for the night.

He wasn’t particularly pleasant this morning.  The Wife was a bit appalled with him.  Then I explained his troubled sleeping last night and she softened a bit.  He’s never particularly pleasant when he doesn’t sleep well.

Tonight, when we put the kids to bed, I reminded him not to stare at his clock.  I’d already said “Goodnight” to the lass, so I went to take care of putting away some laundry.  Along the way, I had a premonition that the lass would ask “Why shouldn’t we stare at the clock, Dad?”  I went so far as to plan a response should it come to pass.

A few minutes later, the premonition proved prophetic.  I was in the middle of putting my shorts away when she called out, pretty much exactly as I’d imagined it, right down to the tone and inflections. Since I’d heeded my premonition, I already had a speech in mind to explain to her, and the boy, about Circadian Rhythms and why staring at a light can make it difficult sleep.  When I finished, she reached over and turned her clock so it wasn’t facing her.

This happens fairly regularly anymore with both the Wife and I.  A benefit of knowing the kids better than they know themselves is being prepared for what we know is coming.  It doesn’t always work out as well as it did in this case, but it’s satisfying when it does.

Today was the big day for the Wife. Today was the day that we got our brand spanking new kitchen stove and refrigerator. The stove is a gas stove, which we had converted to propane. The fridge replaces an older one that we’d had forever and it’s main feature improvement was the dual front doors. She’d been pining for the stove in particular for a long time now as our electric one has been slowly but surely biting the dust.

It’s to be expected that the Wife be excited about the new toys. What wasn’t expected was the excitement of the kids for the new appliances. They got up this morning asking when they’d arrive. When they got off the bus, the first question out of their mouths was “Do we have a new refrigerator and stove?” When I confirmed for them that they were here and installed, they both sprinted down the driveway to the house. It was Christmas come early.

They were buzzing around the new appliances like bees around a flower bed. How does this door open? OOOO! LOOK! This door pulls out. OH WOW! FIRE! Dad LOOK! There’s a blue flame like on the grill outside. So are we basically grilling in the house now? COOL! Look how both doors can open! OH MY GOD! The stove is huge! I could like, sleep in there! What’s this do, Dad? Wait, there’s a water dispenser in the fridge?!? AWESOME! Cool touchscreen! We have an ice dispenser? Where does the water come from? When will we have ice? What’s this button do? What’s that up there?

Of all the things about the two appliances, the ice dispenser was the biggest curiosity. They wanted to know how long before ice would start popping out. Would it overflow the freezer? How does it know when to stop? Where does the ice form? Questions like that make you realize they are totally on autopilot and literally, questions are forming in their brain and being shunted straight to their mouth.

Then, for the remainder of the evening, every time they heard CLUNKing from the fridge, they’d rush over to the freezer to check out the newest haul of ice cubes. The even counted them at one point trying to determine how many came out at a time. They also were trying to guess how many ice cubes would be in the tray by the morning. They wanted to know my guess. I told them 467 because, well, why not? They didn’t like that answer because that’s a lot of counting.

Frankly, I’m surprised they are able to sleep.

The Wife is a neat-nick.

I am not.

This is a not unimportant fundamental difference in life philosophy. Her desk is immaculate and a paragon of the old adage “A place for everything and everything in its place.” My desk, typically, has a few square inches of cleared area that moves around the desk with the piles. Kind of like those tiled-number puzzles where the object is to put all the tiles in order and there’s one open space so that all the tiles can be moved around. I defend my piles simply by stating that I remember where everything falls. An disorganized desk is a sign of an organized mind, I say.

Given our disparate views on organization and cleanliness, the Wife tends to be the enforcer where the kid’s rooms are concerned. Well, where the house is concerned really but for now we’ll focus on the kid’s rooms. She wants them picked up and tidy. She has gone to great lengths to provide cubbies for their toys so that the floors in the room can be clear for walking on. It just requires a little maintenance on the kid’s part to make the system work.

Typically, the motivation for that maintenance is provided in the form of nagging.

So today, when the Wife told them to clean their rooms, they had to interrupt their morning cartoons to go do it. SUCH AN INCONVENIENCE! They disappeared for about 5 minutes, then returned. The Wife, in the meantime, was vacuuming the floors because our dogs are blowing their coats. Again.

For whatever reason, perhaps because the quick turnaround time from the being-asked to completing their “cleaning” seemed odd, I ventured up into their rooms to see how they’d done. Just because I don’t practice it, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do it. It also doesn’t mean I don’t know how to recognize a cleaned room. Toys still on the floor, beds unmade, clothes in various piles around the room do not a clean room make.

So I called them up and played the role of supervisor for the next 20 minutes. During this time, my most oft used phrase was “What’s that?” The second most was “Where does it belong?” They claimed they’d made their beds. After pointing out the crumpled blankets, the half-off-the-bed pillows, the mussed sheets and the stuffed animals strew hither and thither, they were chastened enough to actually make their beds. Clothes on the floor were picked up- some went into the laundry, some into drawers. Toys buried under those clothes were also picked up. Pieces of paper were pointed out and thrown out. Shoes were put in closets. Finally, they each vacuumed their rooms. All was done under my close supervision.

When it was finished, I told them both to take a good look at what they’d done. With them having done so, I then explained that was what clean looked like and there should be no confusion in the future about what’s expected of them when told to clean their rooms. They both nodded with understanding then went back downstairs to finish watching their cartoons.

I’ve got a feeling we’ll be doing this again.

In contrast to most of the rest of the Summer, the kids spent their final day playing quietly. I had to go participate in sexual harassment training at the school I tutor for, so I left them for a couple of hours this morning. When I left, they were starting a game of Monopoly. When I returned, a couple of hour later, they were finishing that game of Monopoly.

They continued playing, changing board games as their patience with each other began wearing thin over a new game of Monopoly. In the meantime, I had a little lunch and then tended to some outside chores that needed doing. I’ve replanted grass over all the areas of the lawn that I’d wrecked during the Great Patio Project of the Summer so I’ve been tending to that with water and the like while waiting for the initial sprigs of grass to show up. I told them I’d probably be going into the pool for a bit after I was done.

This news got them outside for a bit. They were in the pool well before I was, eagerly awaiting my arrival in the pool. They’ve invented a new game they call “Shark”. Original, I know. It’s basically a form of under water tag. The person that’s “it” swims around but can only tag someone when they and their target are both submerged. We play with eye goggles one, so it’s actually quite difficult to get tagged. None the less, we managed several rounds until it became too cool to continue.

Plus, it was time to start prepping for dinner. We wanted the boy to attend martial arts class tonight to make things easier for later this week. I’d missed my own usual Monday morning class because of the training I’d gone to, so I decided to attend classes tonight as well. The boy has been participating in teen classes lately because the children’s classes have nothing left to offer him at the junior apprentice level. So my participating tonight meant we got to take a class together, which he seemed to take as a novelty. Anyway, in order for him and I to make class, I had to get dinner going a little earlier than usual. While I took care of dinner, the kids went back to playing their games.

We returned home for class to find the Wife and the lass curled up on the couch reading together. They had already done some prep for tomorrow morning, getting lunches and snacks ready. The boy had to go take a shower, then he got a little ice cream- a final summer treat before the long slog of the year began. Afterwards, he also took care of some of the formalities for the next day, assembling part of his lunch and making sure his school bag was ready to go.

They were both in bed by 8. The Wife is in bed now, and I’ll be following suit shortly. The Summer was, in many respects, too short. For all the parental joking about “relief” that school is back, the house will have a quiet about it that will take a little getting used to. On the way home from martial arts tonight, the boy said, a little glumly, “I guess a lot of parents will be happy come tomorrow.” I thought for a moment and then told him it probably wasn’t quite like that. I said Summer’s are a fun time for everyone since we all get to spend a little more time together doing things, even if it’s just hanging out together. Summer is a nice break from the routine of schools- the dropoffs, the pickups, the homework, the activities.

When I finished explaining this to him, he seemed a little more pleased about the circumstances. I suppose it never occurred to him that, while he and his sister were busy enjoying their Summer vacation, the Wife and I were as well.

The last couple of days gave the kids a chance to see what money can buy. Yesterday was spent in the company of the Vanderbilts. Today, we visited with the Pequots.

Visiting with the Vanderbilts up here in New England means visiting the mansions in Newport, Rhode Island. They were responsible for a number of those “Summer Cottages”. In particular, we checked out The Breakers and The Marble House. The Breakers was built for Cornelius Vanderbilt, grandson of The Commodore. It is the largest of all the mansions in Newport, and it also what has to be the best view.

Amusingly, when we first got to The Breakers and started approaching, the first thing the boy said was “I thought it would be bigger.” Keep in mind, The Breakers is a 4 story mansion with 70 rooms. Upon entry through the main doors, one steps up a series of stairs and into the Great Hall, which is roughly 60 feet high, 60 feet wide and 60 feet long. To that point, one has only just begun touring the The Breakers. A two-story, 2000 square foot home could easily fit into the dining room.

After walking through the whole thing, the boy had changed his mind a bit about it’s size. His favorite room was the Dining Room. The Wife was thoroughly impressed by the kitchen, particularly the 26 foot long stove and oven. Both kids took interest in some of the various rules of the household. For instance, there no kids were allowed in the Dining Room in the Vanderbilt’s day. Similarly, no women were allowed in a game room off the Great Hall, and no men were allowed in a corner study room, also just off the Great Hall.

A couple of hours later, we drove down the road a piece to The Marble House. It too was Vanderbilt property, built for Alva Vanderbilt. Over 500,000 cubic feet of marble was used to construct it. The Marble House isn’t as impressive as The Breakers, but it’s still an astonishing building to visit.

Of the two, both kids were more impressed with The Breakers.

Having seen what old money could accomplish, today we went to the Pequot Museum. Actually, the visit had nothing to do with wealth in that regard. But it’s hard to go to the Pequot Reervation and not be impressed with what they’ve accomplished in the past 30 years or so. The museum is there to document the heritage of the Pequots as well as their climb back from near extinction. The building is an impressive structure in it’s own right, with a large glass atrium. They spared little expense in creating it. The Foxwood’s Resort is the most famous part of the reservation, but it’s far from the only part. The museum itself was large enough that we were unable to see it entirely.

We ended our trip with a ride up to the top of an observation tower at the museum. I’d say it stands about 13 stories high and provides a nice view of the countryside. The elevator ride is tough for someone with an aversion to heights- after the initial couple of floors, the shaft opens up on 3 sides so the riders can watch their own ascent. It’s … disconcerting would be one way to put it. The kids had their fun at my expense for a bit. At least I wasn’t screaming and clawing to get out.

Incidentally, when we got up to the top, I could swear I could feel that thing swaying. Just a bit. The kids spent the whole time running from one glass panel to the next, looking out and down. I stood in the center and tried to look out. No need to look down.

The scene of the crime. That’s not some new Spring Fashion 2013 outdoor decorating idea. It’s mud- or a crazy brand of mud wasp. Looks like a fair amount of low-to-medium velocity spatter. Appears to have been close range as well, perhaps within 10 feet of the wall. It’s possible the target area was the door, but the aim was so poor it’s hard to be sure.

My guess is the perps thought it was a lot of “fun” while they were in the act.

Supporting evidence of my thesis. The perps didn’t even bother to clean up the evidence. They left the hose and the water trail and resulting ditches right there to be found. Sloppy all the way around.

The real crime in all of this? Stuffing the deadbolt lock on the door full of mud. Again, the key bit here is the afore mentioned poor aim. Notice that around the deadbolt area, there is little mud spatter. Thus, the only way mud could have found it’s way into the keyhole was via a deliberate act of stupidity: stuffing the keyhole.

I currently have 2 suspects: one aged 8, the other aged 7. Neither is considered armed or dangerous. Their current whereabouts are the local school. Upon arrival home, they will each be formally accused and charged with 1 count of “Having fun and not cleaning up afterwards” and “committing acts of stupidity while having fun.” I would inform them of their rights, but they have none.

They will then be subject to a speedy trial by their parents. The evidence will be presented, fingers will be pointed. I expect them to crack in short order, each blaming the other and pointing out whose idea the whole thing was. The whole “Prisoner’s Dilemma” thing is lost on them.

Their sentence is yet to be determined.