We Must Lead a Boring Life

Today was the big day for the Wife. Today was the day that we got our brand spanking new kitchen stove and refrigerator. The stove is a gas stove, which we had converted to propane. The fridge replaces an older one that we’d had forever and it’s main feature improvement was the dual front doors. She’d been pining for the stove in particular for a long time now as our electric one has been slowly but surely biting the dust.

It’s to be expected that the Wife be excited about the new toys. What wasn’t expected was the excitement of the kids for the new appliances. They got up this morning asking when they’d arrive. When they got off the bus, the first question out of their mouths was “Do we have a new refrigerator and stove?” When I confirmed for them that they were here and installed, they both sprinted down the driveway to the house. It was Christmas come early.

They were buzzing around the new appliances like bees around a flower bed. How does this door open? OOOO! LOOK! This door pulls out. OH WOW! FIRE! Dad LOOK! There’s a blue flame like on the grill outside. So are we basically grilling in the house now? COOL! Look how both doors can open! OH MY GOD! The stove is huge! I could like, sleep in there! What’s this do, Dad? Wait, there’s a water dispenser in the fridge?!? AWESOME! Cool touchscreen! We have an ice dispenser? Where does the water come from? When will we have ice? What’s this button do? What’s that up there?

Of all the things about the two appliances, the ice dispenser was the biggest curiosity. They wanted to know how long before ice would start popping out. Would it overflow the freezer? How does it know when to stop? Where does the ice form? Questions like that make you realize they are totally on autopilot and literally, questions are forming in their brain and being shunted straight to their mouth.

Then, for the remainder of the evening, every time they heard CLUNKing from the fridge, they’d rush over to the freezer to check out the newest haul of ice cubes. The even counted them at one point trying to determine how many came out at a time. They also were trying to guess how many ice cubes would be in the tray by the morning. They wanted to know my guess. I told them 467 because, well, why not? They didn’t like that answer because that’s a lot of counting.

Frankly, I’m surprised they are able to sleep.