One behavior I’ve noticed in the kids that quickly drives me to drink is the tattle-tailing. It would be one thing if we got useful updates like “The boy is lighting the curtains on fire!” or “The lass is dipping the dog’s tail in milk and flour!” or “She’s drawing a picture on the couch in permanent ink!”
These are, you know, useful pieces of information that I can act on.
Most of the time; however, we get information such as:
“He’s touching the cat!”
or
“She’s going in the basement!”
or
“She drew a picture of me and it doesn’t look right!”
Actually, those aren’t very good examples. Usually, the offending action is even more mundane. And never ending. It’s like a verbal ticker providing up-to-the-minute status information. What’s more, it’s clear from the tone of the tattle-tailer that the recipient of said information is expected to act on it. The offender is being bad (’cause I said so)! They must be punished! I’ll get the tar and feathers!
It’s a problem with a difficult solution. It seems to me that part of the motivation is a desire to show how good the reporter is being by highlighting the dastardly-punishable-by-death offense of the other. Other times, its more of a desire to just see the other one get it. Generally, the Wife and I do our best to ignore the behavior as an attempt to discourage it. We figure that they will learn what’s worth reporting and what isn’t.
It’s not unusual for me or the Wife to try and explain why the information being reported is unimportant. Unfortunately, these attempts at explanation seem to be a waste of time. Trying to explain nuance to a child is an exercise in frustration. They really need black/ white comparisons and telling them that there are shades of gray just seems to make things worse. Usually it ends with “So he’s not in trouble?” Sigh.
I was talking with the Sister and she is having a similar experience. This led us to our own cathartic behavior where we mocked them by reporting every little thing using callsigns and relaying the information like it was over walkie-talkies:
“NARC1, this is TATTLETAIL.”
“Go ahead TATTLETAIL.”
“Subject is displaying canine eating habits, over.”
“Copy TATTLETAIL.”
“NARC1, subject has now entered the kitchen and is coming over to you.”
“I’ve marked the bird TATTLETAIL.”
“TATTLETAIL out.”
Well, it was funny for the evening anyway.
I’m coming to believe that time is the only recourse and to just continue to ignore it when it’s unimportant. I recall going through the same thing when I was growing up and I’m fairly certain I left the behavior behind. Presumably the kids will grow out of it as well.
Hopefully, it’s sooner than later.