“The Crankies” visited the boy this morning. He has to go do a fundraiser with me this morning for Scouts and he didn’t want to. “WHAT?!? You mean I have to go and do fundraisers every day for the rest of my life!?!” he exclaimed when the Wife reminded him. Prior to that, he’d been engaging in other favorite cranky behavior, needlessly antagonizing his sister.
As for the fundraiser, never mind that we do it for about a month-and-a-half out of the year. Never mind that he actually enjoys doing it. Never mind that I’ll spend the remainder of the year trying to make his Scouting experience fun fruitful. Never mind that he only has to work for an hour today (THE HORROR!!) All that seems to matter is it interferes with his busy Saturday and weekend schedule consisting of… nothing.
He loves to poke at the lass when he’s cranky. He’ll intentionally poke her, (nothing hard- just enough to be annoying like only a brother can manage) until she’s literally screaming at him to stop. When he’s called out he accuses her of being a baby and always making a big deal of out nothing. If she gets up, he’ll slide over into her spot on the couch, which he knows will infuriate her when she returns. He also tends to make lots of snide comments about her- subtle put-downs and such that individually aren’t a big deal. But taken together with the steady drip-drip-drip of a leaky faucet add up to more than their constituent parts.
If it isn’t the boy, then it’s the lass who gets “The Crankies.” She tends to exhibit different behaviors. Namely, an out-of-control defiance for everything. Tell her to make her breakfast and she’ll put on a frown, fold her arms across her chest and say “Hmmmph. I’m not hungry.” Ask her to feed the dogs and she’ll repeat the above with the modification that she “always feed the stupid dogs. Why doesn’t my brother ever feed them?” Never mind that he fed them just yesterday.
There is no cure for “The Crankies.” At least, no sure fire cure. Depending on the severity of the affliction, distractions or redirection can work. Sometimes, feigning excitement for something they like can snap them out of it. Other times, getting some food in them fixes things.
Just as often as not, however, nothing works and the only saving grace is that they get dumped at school for the day and we get a reprieve from them for 6 hours or so. It’s a crap shoot whether “The Crankies” are gone by the time they get home.
It’s almost enough to be willing to use them as collateral for renting an iPhone. Although in all likelihood, Apple would be demanding their phone back well before the rental was up.