We’re Their Too

Surprise! Through the miracle of scheduled posts, a surprise post this week to break the silence.

I saw this article via a Tweet which I unfortunately can’t find again for proper attribution. It’s about hitting the “sweet spot” of parenting. The author does a nice job of describing the signs:

I was at the community pool, looking around to see what my kids were up to. Then I really looked at them. The big one was playing with her friends, her long arms and legs splashing. The little one was throwing herself off the diving board like a boss. The boy was in the shade, cracking jokes with his buddies.

This is it- when you don’t need to be on your guard at all times for something that may happen. The kids are less reliant on you for comfort and stability, they rest easy knowing they are with your friends and that you lurk somewhere in their general vicinity. This frees you up to relax, read a few pages from that book that’s been on hold since they were born, perhaps even work a little on your own projects.

Reading the article, I realized that by and large, the Wife and I have been in that spot for a bit now. In fact, I think it’s possible to say my blogging is indicative of it. For some time now, I’ve been having a harder time coming up with parenting related material, largely because whatever problems the kids come up with are well worn topics here and, for the most part, pretty much trivial in the scheme of things. The posts I do come up with tend to relate to the humorous incidents, or the sorts of thing that I think every parent deals with. I don’t have any particular insights into these sorts of things, mainly it’s parenting maintenance.

I figure there’s maybe a couple more years of this before the boy begins to pull us onto some rockier roads. I only choose him since he’s the older of the two- it’s possible the lass will be the first to start going astray, but I figure odds are on the boy.

In the meantime, the sweet spot is definitely a nice place to be. I’ve managed to complete an entire patio project over the course of this Spring and Summer, largely because of it. The Wife is getting some of her knitting projects done and in the meantime, both the boy and the lass continue to develop at a steady pace in their capabilities and responsibilities.

I like to think it’s a sort of interim reward for some of the fights and trials that have been dealt with over the years. Initially, there is the stage where they start to learn rules and limitations, there are fights over food and diet, arguments over treating siblings with respect, fights over homework and school and behavior and respect. The current pause indicates a sort of balance that’s been reached, where they know their place and are basically comfortable with it. The same goes for the Wife and I, we have an idea of what needs to be dealt with and what can be let alone (hint: a lot!).

Of course, it can’t be like this forever. Eventually, they’ll need to be pushed and prodded as their capabilities grow. They’ll also sense the changes in themselves and will begin their campaigns for more independence and “freedoms.” The fights and battles will begin anew at that point.

But not this day. For now, we just get to enjoy being a family.