Know Where to Squeeze

The thing about kids is knowing where their pressure points are. Perhaps it’s a favored toy that they couldn’t bear to part with. Or maybe, it’s an early bedtime. Perhaps, it’s being forced to do chores. Whatever it is, it’s a good thing to know when dealing with unruly kids as they get older.

Because at when an adult knows that, there is no reason to scream and generally act like a crazy person. Rather, simply put a finger on that pressure point and squeeze.

Thankfully, our we know our kids’ pressure points. Yes, plural. Depending on the level of foolishness, we’ll go for the appropriate spot. Smart mouthing Mom or Dad? Early bed time. Unnecessary defiance or disrespectful behavior? Early bedtime, no video games. And so forth.

But what about the kids’ friends? They don’t live here and, really, there is no authority for a parent to punish someone else’s child. Perhaps a stern talking to, maybe even raising the voice, but we can’t take someone elses child’s video game time away, or make them go to bed early.

As it happens, I’ve discovered the best lever is the friend’s parents.

For instance, the boy has a friend sleeping over tonight. We put them all to bed a little after 9 o’clock. An hour later, they are all still down there laughing and being foolish. We let them have their fun for a bit, but their obvious fatigue is causing them all to get a short with each other. So there will be a quick bout of laughter, followed by someone whining that they just want to sleep, or they to let them have something.

In this case, I could hear the friend was wound up. It’s understandable, but they need to get some sleep so they can function tomorrow. So, I threatened him with calling his parents and having them come and get him, at which point he’d have to explain to them why he couldn’t sleep over anymore. Shortly after getting acknowledgement that he understood me, I sat down and waited.

I haven’t heard a peep since. I didn’t have to say anything to our two.