The boy still gets frustrated with his homework. Actually, no- that’s not quite right. The boy gets frustrated with the Wife and about his homework when he asks us to look over his work.
We point out errors in his math his brow starts to furrow. We point out mistakes in his reading comprehension and his shoulders slump. We point out grammar problems in his writing and there’s an audible thump as he drops his head onto the table.
Then he says something like “I must be the dumbest kid in the entire world.”
Welcome to drama, the boy style.
The lass is getting dressed for her hockey practice. She grumbles as she puts on her shin guards. She complains when she pulls her hockey socks over her legs. She whines as she pulls on her shoulder pads. Finally, at the rink, she puts on her helmet and roars “STUPID HELMET! IT DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT!” She’s near tears now.
Welcome to drama, the lass style.
Both kids seem to have hit a patch here where the Wife and I are constantly dealing with these sorts of exaggerated crises or bouts of self-pity. There isn’t any real predictor for when it will happen, though fatigue or low blood-sugar are definitely correlated. The fits can come over just about anything: clothes, food, sports, school, homework, chores.
For all its unpredictability, there are several body language signs that one of these fits of drama are imminent. For one, they’ll become sullen and verbally unresponsive. For two, they’ll often become very reluctant to move and any exhortations to get them are met with increasingly hostile looks.
Anymore, the Wife or I simply walk away from this stuff or completely ignore it. We’ve come to the conclusion that it’s mainly for show and attempts to short-circuit it generally end up intensifying the behavior. We were initially concerned about the boy’s lines like above where he states “I’m the worst ever!” about one thing or another. But we’ve come around to the thinking that it’s at best an attempt to vent frustration, at worst an attempt at gaining sympathy. So we leave it be.
And wait for it to pass.
Most of the time, the moment does pass. Though sometimes we will have to tell the offender to walk away from their problem for awhile, if feasible. If not, we might occasionally try to refocus them and then come back around to whatever has been frustrating them. When they become overly emotional about any given source of angst it’s all but impossible to reason with them. For that matter, that’s why the Wife and I tend to ignore them when they get to that point- it serves as a subtle hint for them to settle down that they’ll respond to sometimes, depending on how far down the rabbit hole they’ve gone.
I will say it isn’t always easy to deal with them when the get in this state. When I find myself arguing with them or getting sucked into their world in those moments, I often find myself thinking “Be the adult.” A scary thought, for sure, when I’m the one thinking like that.