I had to head out for a few minutes this evening to do the grocery shopping. Before I left, I contributed to the outdoor decorating festivities by putting installing the outdoor timer for the lights. It’s real tricky- a stake has to be driven into the ground, then the timer is mounted to the steak. Finally, plug the timer into an outlet. I had an axe and a flashlight to make sure I got the job done right.

With that done, and the Wife and kids hanging lights, I readied for my departure by heading over to them and asking which one wasn’t doing anything. The Wife was stringing the lights up, the boy was holding the strand. The lass was supervising, so she got the short straw.

I walked up to her and held out the flashlight, a nice 3-D-cell Maglite. (I also have a 4 battery Maglite, but no one else is allowed to handle that one.) When she grasped it, I fixed her eyes and spoke to her “This flashlight is your responsibility. Be sure to keep track of it and take care of it. If you don’t, you’ll never get another flashlight for the rest of your life.” I deadpanned the whole thing, like I was simply stating a well-known fact.

When she’d initially reached out for the flashlight, she had a smile on her face, happy to be in charge of it. When I’d finished speaking, the smile had been replaced with a frown and she uttered a telltale little grunt that indicated she wasn’t happy about what she’d heard. Apparently, the threat of “no flashlights for the rest of her life” was serious business.

I released the flashlight to her and turned away before I started to laugh. As I walked away, I concluded the exchange by calling to her “No pressure.”

My smile broadened as she again grunted, louder this time.

Epilogue

When I returned, they had finished with the outside lights. It looked nice.

Upon entering, both kids were in their pajamas and watching Home Alone. They interrupted their viewing to let me know that they’d both taken care of the flashlight and that it had been put away. They went back to watching the movie.

No lifetime bans forthcoming tonight.