The Boy and The Lass’ Relationship

Went grocery shopping this morning with both kids for the first time in a long while. It’s old hat for the lass, whom has accompanied me on many an occasion. For the longest time, it’s only been her. With school now out, she was joined by her brother. All in all, they managed to get along well enough that I’d be willing to repeat the exercise.

But (and you knew there had to be a “but” because why would I blog about grocery shopping?) there’s alway something. That “something” happened when we were all done. All bagged up and rung up at the register, getting ready to head out to the car for loading. The lass had pulled down the ream of useless coupons that our grocery store spits at me every time we check out.

The boy was upset about her coup. Yes, you read that right. He was upset because she had claimed all of the useless coupons. I know this for a fact because he came up to me just as we were starting to head out and said “Dad, my sister took all of the coupons and won’t give any of them to me. So she has all the coupons and I don’t have any.”

My initial, non-verbalized, reaction (you know, the immediate one that every parent has that we squelch 99.999% of the time for one reason or another) was, and I quote, “Seriously?” Followed immediately by “I can’t believe this.”

My verbal reaction to him a moment later was “You’re upset because she has a bunch of worthless coupons and you don’t? Do you know how lame that is?”

Not exactly the most, um, judicious response. But it was an honest response, which more and more I’ve decided to start offering to the both of them. Especially when it involved this level of inanity. Because, really, am I supposed to try and split-the-baby over coupons? Chinese water torture has nothing on these guys.

I highlighted this particular event because more and more it’s coming to define the relationship between the boy and the lass. Arguing over “the scraps at Longshank’s table.” Actually, if they really were scraps, I suppose I could stomach it better. Yesterday, the boy was upset because while he was getting in the pool, the lass started splashing in his general direction. The lass regularly gets upset because the boy decides to play one of his games and won’t let his sister have a turn. Because, you know, when you’re playing a 1 player game it’s really a 2 player game where you tag team it back and forth. That’s how it’s supposed to be done. Sharing and all that.

So I’ve decided that if these are the sorts of things they’ll argue over, and request that I referee, then I will communicate their pettiness by not taking them seriously. Or, by offering the most extreme penalty I can imagine on short notice. Anything to highlight the ridiculous level to which they have stooped.

If they want to make it a long Summer for me, I’ll just return the favor. In spades.