In recent weeks, the boy has been noticeably less enthusiastic about hockey. The behavior manifests as a nonchalant attitude while skating that’s infuriating for me to watch. Not just me, the Wife gets annoyed with it as well. Not only is he not trying, he’s not even trying to try. He’ll skate past the puck without even realizing it; he’ll even be skating in the wrong direction compared to where the action is going; he’ll just skate in circles out on the ice not even trying to help his team. The violations are numerous.
Of course, there’s nothing I or the Wife can do. What’s more, I’m not sure there’s anything we should do. I keep reminding myself that he’s only 8 and not all kids are made the same about this stuff. My concern is that he’ll develop the habit that it’s OK to just pack it in when things are hard. But there’s a world of difference between and 8-year old and a 16-year old, and there’s no guarantee that the boy he is now will be the teen he is later. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself (I’m pretty sure it’s true in my case- and I doubt I’m unique).
After his games this weekend, I asked him what was going on. He stated flat out that he didn’t like hockey anymore. When I asked him “Why, what had happened?” (he was the one who requested to play this year, we didn’t push him) he stated he didn’t like wearing all the pads and that he still got headaches. I found the last part incredible- we’d spent a small fortune on a top-of-the-line helmet for him because his noodle was too big for the regular helmets, which even the guys at the hockey store could see were too small for him. He hadn’t complained once all year about headaches, until now.
As to the not liking pads, well, that’s about as 8-year-old a thing to say as I can imagine.
I was shocked at his statement and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. One thing which occurred to me is there’s one sport he always asks to play, but we can’t because I don’t have access to a court anymore. He always asks to play racquetball. I started teaching him how to play a couple of years ago when I still had a membership at the Y. I’d take him and the lass, hand them one of my spare racquets and we’d play around on the court. I think the implication is pretty clear.
If I’m right, then that portends good news for his martial arts. I’ve been taking classes at the school as well so it’s something we’ll both have in common. But it also means that stuff like baseball and hockey will never be of much importance to him. It’s also an indicator that we’ve made the right call not having him join youth football for the time being. I’d hate for him to get a sour taste in his mouth about football.
So, while it’s disappointing that he’s not enthused about hockey, clearly it’s not the end of the world. He’s had a chance to learn something about himself, and the Wife and I have also learned a little about him and sports. Besides, next November is a long time from now, and he could always change his mind.
6 replies on “A Little Disappointing”
We can’t all be Canadian.
When his hot button really gets hit you’ll know it and so will he. Keep teaching him perseverance and eventually he’ll decide where he wants to appy it. Also remember you’re still his number 1 idol so keep setting the right tone.
Maybe it’s just a case of activity overload … don’t see much down time in their schedule … (not that down time should be spent on a DS … )
Yes- we’re seriously considering not having him participate in baseball this year for exactly this reason. It’s a catch-22 though because he’ll miss out on a chance to be with friends. That said, if he’s not enjoying it then it’s probably better that he doesn’t participate.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder…if you guys decide to not allow him to play anymore…until he is older…the same way it was for us growing up, he will truly have to WANT it at that stage. He will have to work harder to get good and close the gap from kids who have been playing, he will get humbled at a more mature age, where he will be more capable of properly reacting to that experience, and most importantly, he will have the time to figure out what HE really wants to do, versus just going of the immediate influences of what Dad watches and what his friends are doing…
Kids are inherently impulsive, it is part of their mental development, so he probably isn’t even capable of figuring out what he wants to be a part of his life for an extended period of time, things are more based on immediate feelings versus long term goals. Sports are long term, you can’t go through what sports entail unless you understand the commitment you are making.
Just my two cents…probably only worth about half that…
I think there’s a lot to this, actually. We’ve never pressured him to play, only to do his best at whatever he does do. But it’s a fine line and I could easily see him getting confused that we’re actually forcing him to play.