The Hairdresser

The lass took a shower tonight, but it was on the later side. So, before going to bed, the Wife took her into our bathroom so she could comb and dry her hair a bit before going to bed. I remained downstairs with the boy, helping him with a picture search.

After finishing it up, we trudged upstairs. The Wife was still fussing with the lass in the bathroom, which seemed a bit odd but I didn’t think too much of it. “The girls are having a bonding moment in the bathroom” was my thought. I decided to water a couple of plants and when I made my way back to our room, the Wife cornered me and asked “Did your daughter tell you what she did?”

Note the use of the word “daughter” here. That’s a signaling word indicating the lass has perpetrated some sort of mischief on the sly. I told the Wife that the lass hadn’t said “boo” to me.

“Yeah, she doesn’t want to tell you and I don’t blame her.” More signaling phrases. Whatever it was, the “act” was moving up the severity scale quickly.

The Wife finally, er, “cut” to the chase. She said “She cut her bangs with her scissors today.” (There might be an expletive or two missing from that.)

Apparently, the Wife realized something was amiss while combing her hair. She noticed that there was a “hole” in her bangs in the middle of the lass’ forehead. The Wife was finally able to squeeze out of her that she’d used her pair of craft scissors because her “bangs were too long.” So the Wife had to shorten up the rest of her bangs in order to “fix” the problem.

For my part, I found the whole thing highly amusing. It was only a matter of time before she pulled this stunt. This is the little girl whom has lathered up the cat once before with skin cream because she wanted to help keep the cat’s fur soft. The lass, for her part, was too mortified to tell me, probably assuming I’d be mad at her or something. But all I told her was “That’s why we leave hair cutting to the experts” with a big smile on my face. All I got in return was a grunt.

I mean really, think about it for a second. A 5-year-old takes a pair of craft scissors to her own hair and miraculously all that’s missing is a small chunk in the bangs. Am I the only one thinking that easily could have been much worse?

After the Wife fixed her oops, the lass immediately looked for a silver lining. “But Mommy, they’ll grow back!”

At which point, she’ll probably try it again.