Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Never underestimate the ability of kids to turn something simple into something not so simple. Perhaps it’s a superpower. Parent’s insert themselves into a situation and kids immediately begin deploying their “Obfuscation” ability by making their eyes wide and using the words “But she…” or “But he…”

The boy was supposed to take a shower. But when the Wife made the request to him, he just stood there and stared at her, rooted to the spot. Since the lass also needed a shower, and the boy seemed to be in some kind of temporary state of paralysis, she asked the lass instead to go.

Which was all the boy needed to snap him out of his self-imposed stroke. He took off like a shot to be the “first” in the shower. The lass, not to be outdone, also took off. Unfortunately for her, she is not a physical match to her brother and he beat her there easily. So she now launches into a frustrated, tearful “Heeeee butted in front of meeeee….”

Now, the boy had really not covered himself in glory previously that evening. He’d already been rude to his Mother and myself during dinner; he’d been surly to his Mother and not shared what he did during the day, preferring to complain he was hungry (I was in the middle of getting dinner ready); and he’d already crossed swords with his sister previous to the current shower-incident. So I was already predisposed to wading into to the current imbroglio on the lass’ behalf.

I told him to get out of the shower and come downstairs and wait for his sister. The ensuing belly-aching confirmed that he’d heard me. So I was more than a little shocked when, while hearing the shower going, the lass walked back downstairs fully-clothed. She told the Wife and I that her brother refused to get out of the shower because he was already undressed.

The Wife mirrored my own thoughts when she said “Well, guess that means an early bed time.” We also took care to instruct the lass that she was not to say anything to her brother because it was not her place.

When he came back down stairs, the first thing he said to me said was his sister “let him go first because he was already undressed.”

Obfuscation powers, ACTIVATE!

Mentally, my first reaction was something like the following:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s the thing: he’s smart enough to know that he was in trouble for defying the order to come down and let his sister shower first. Further, he also knew claiming his sister had “let him go first” was the one thing he could say to offer himself cover. Complicating things further, the lass is completely conniving enough to hatch a plot to get her brother in trouble by telling him he could go first, and then coming down and claiming that he hadn’t listened.

Someone was lying, and neither was willing to fess up to it. So they both went to bed early.

For the record, I think it was the boy only because he has set a previous precedent with fibbing to stay out of trouble. The Wife thinks it was the lass because she was all to agreeable with being sent to bed early as well (the boy was extremely upset with the early bedtime). We used the opportunity to impress upon them that this is why telling the truth is important: we couldn’t trust either one that they weren’t lying. Unfortunate, but there it is. I also took a moment to reiterate to the boy that when his Mother or I tell him to do something, we expect him to do it; not cut side deals with his sister that conveniently let him do what he wanted all along.

And in the future, I guess we’ll be chaperoning trips to the shower.