Category: Family

On the way home from swim lessons last night, we were trying to decide what to do about dinner. The kids started getting antsy about their propositions and, frankly, more than a little annoying and pushy. So I decided to grab the bull by the horns, so to speak:

“What’s food do you hate most?” I asked the lass. She replied peppers; so I told them we were going to a restaurant that served peppers for dinner. The Wife laughed, the lass didn’t.

Next to play- the boy.

His first reply was “I’m not going to tell you because then that’s where you’ll take us. Besides, you already know what I don’t like.” Which is true- inexplicably he hates pasta. Possibly the only child on earth who hates pasta.

Then, he said “Dad, I hate hamburgers.”

Now, it was my turn to laugh. If there’s one food he enjoys more than anything in this world, it’s hamburgers. He is a miniaturized Wimpy- he’d gladly trade a hamburger from tomorrow for a hamburger today. Or something like that.

So what did they end up eating? The lass had a hamburger. The boy had… half a tuna-fish sandwich with New England chowder.

Go figure.

The boy had a friend over this morning. It was his first time having a guest in that fashion. Things went very nicely. The only caveat being some poor behavior when the Wife denied their request for candy after lunch. I was picking up the lass at that point, so I missed the events personally. Regardless, I certainly wouldn’t have a problem having his friend over again.

The visit was just for the morning- so it was a kind of feeling-each-other-out kind of thing. They went through most of the toys fairly quickly, probably some kind of inventory-ing. His friend asked if they could watch TV. When I replied “No” I got a look along the lines of “What dimension did I land in here?” Finally they settled on running through a sprinkler and spraying each other with water.

One moment worth noting for what didn’t happen was when the boy and his friend knocked heads (unintentionally) while running through the sprinkler. It was clearly a painful collision. But the moment became somewhat humorous as both immediately fought back tears. Neither wanted to be seen crying in front of the other. After they settled down, the boy hurt himself again while on the swing. His wet swim-trunks slipped on the swing seat. He got hurt in the process of keeping himself from flying off the swing. As the pain settled in, he dashed behind the swing set so that his friend wouldn’t see. I calmly walked down to check on him, making sure not to raise any alarms for his friend to pick up on. He once again settled down and resumed playing. No more incidents after that.

Normally, these incidents would have resulted in long, drawn out tear-filled tantrums. Further, in all likelihood, the boy would have let his temper get the better of him- snapping at me for daring to try and help. The presence of his friend eliminated all of that.

Perhaps I’ll have him over more often…

One of the Wife’s favorite meals is lobster, so I decided to indulge her last night. The result was tasty and fun! Even for the kids.

The notion of live critters in the fridge was a big time novelty- for the boy anyway. He actually got to see them when we bought them at the store. The lass had no idea what they looked like. She was a little less sanguine about the lobsters in the fridge, but curious is curious.

When it was finally cooking time, I dumped one of the bags of lobsters out on the floor. The kids went scurrying and screaming as the little monsters flailed about. When I picked them up we showed them how the claws were banded so they couldn’t get pinched. The boy worked up the nerve to touch them; the lass was fine to watch them from afar.

When I served the critters a little later, they both gave it a try. Once again, the boy showed some mettle and actually ate the lobster meat. He preferred the claw meat. The lass did her best not to choke on it. She was happier playing with the carcasses.

I cooked up the second batch of lobsters and the boy even chose to hold one of them. The Wife took some pictures of him holding it at arm’s length with his eyes closed. Once again, the lass opted out; preferring a look-but-don’t-touch approach.

And that was the Wife’s lobster dinner on her birthday.

To the Wife, who turns 29 today…

She works hard so I don’t have to.

Ahem.

More seriously, we have a somewhat unusual arrangement, even for the 2010’s. She works full time and I monitor the kids full time, except when I’m on the computer typing. Carting the kids around, I can say pretty definitively that it’s an unusual arrangement. I’m not entirely sure either of us thought our lives would take the path it has, but we make it work. And yes, we work to make it work.

But she more than holds up her end of the bargain. Last night, for instance, on the turn-of-a-dime she ventured off to T-ball practice to help out because we had just received a call that one of the other coaches couldn’t make it. Meaning I would’ve been face-to-10-faces with hell. As luck would have it, the third coach made it after all. But still, there she was in the rain shagging grounders off a tee from 4 year olds after putting in a full days work.

To add to her burden, she’s something of a neat-nick; meaning no matter how much I try to help with house cleanup, it’s never enough. But she takes this difference in stride- accepting that my standards can never be up to hers. I pitch in with the laundry and the dishes and there’s the occasional site of me pushing a vacuum- but this hasn’t been documented so you’ll just have to take my word for it. I won’t even vouch for it being on… And yes, the house looks clean.

With the differences between her Mom-life versus the traditional Mom-life, it’s easy to miss the commonalities. She loves her kids- fiercely. She plays with them and scolds them and comforts them and clothes them and feeds them. She keeps them entertained with planned excursions to zoos and museums and Grandparents’ houses and the beach and the park. She keeps them moving by scouring the globe for activities hither and yon- T-ball, soccer, swimming, dancing. Not to mention the crafts and games and toys…

She never had pets growing up- but has happily adjusted to caretaker of 2 dogs, 2 birds, and a cat. She even tolerated a turtle for a day. She makes sure they are taken care of with trips to the vet in addition to walks for the dogs as well as cleaning and grooming and F-O-O-D.

Then there are her hobbies- photography, gardening and knitting. Somehow, in the course of managing all of the above, she still finds time to make socks, plant flowers with the kids and take some pictures.

Of course, through all these duties, there’s me. She deals with me and my eccentricities- vacillating between hope that I’ve turned some corner and horror that I’ve dreamt up another project. Living in close quarters with someone else is work- full-time work. While I won’t claim to be the most difficult guy to get along with, I provide challenges for her. And she’s been up to them for many years now. It’s nice to know that, given her high standards for everything else, I continue to meet them. I promise to continue to meet them.

So, Happy 29th Birthday my love- perhaps not the super-mom you had envisioned yourself becoming; but clearly a SuperMom, in a class all your own.

(BTW- it’s your turn to do laundry…)

The boy is, officially, another year older. But the temper tantrums look suspiciously like the same ones he’s been having for, oh say… since he was born.

Today was our first six year-old tantrum and it was a humdinger. He was asked to go take a shower when we got home from his T-ball practice. He didn’t want a shower, he wanted a bath. We asked him several more times. Finally, I told the lass to head up stairs so she could get washed up.

There was a flash as the boy made a break for the stairs.

I commanded him to stop, that he’d had his chance and that now his sister was going to take a shower.

For whatever reason, not going first upsets him like nothing else, and his reaction was completely predictable. His face took on an anguished look and he started to cry. I told him to go help the Wife with the dishes.

He stomped downstairs and into the kitchen- balling the whole way.

Several minutes later he broke several windows with an ear-splitting scream that he wanted to take his shower before the lass’. She was, of course, already in the shower at that point. I told him to go wait in his room. More balling as he stomped down to his room.

After the lass was finished, he continued to ball while getting undressed. I’m also pretty sure that he was still crying while he was in the shower. For that matter, maybe he washed himself with his own tears…

Anyway, he eventually finished his shower, and his tantrum. Can’t wait to see what this year brings us…

Having spent the whole day working outside in the gardens, planting and what not with the kids, the Wife finally sat down, looked at me and asked:

Are my lips sunburned? The feel like they’re burning.

I replied simply:

Well, they look red…

Thee were several “bird” sitings shortly thereafter…

The previously noted improvements in the kids baseball skills was not a fluke. They played like they practiced.

I could single out the boy- who made two nice fielding plays and had two solid at bats. But that wouldn’t really tell the whole story. The three oldest kids were very good in the field- not falling and tripping over themselves when going down to get a ball. Also, none of the ground balls got out of the infield. Even if they didn’t make a clean play with their glove, they still were getting in front of the ball and stopping it. The younger ones did well also. They now know what’s expected and for the simple stuff, they do just fine.

They played 2 innings- the coaches decided to call it at that point and finish on a high note. They all had fun, no tears, no injuries. Definitely a good morning for everyone.

On the way home from swim lessons last night, Queen’s “We Will Rock You” came on the radio. The boy said, “Dad, this is the song the Lego’s sing.”

If you haven’t seen the Wii commercial for the Lego game with the Lego-character based Queen band, that will make no sense. I had a good laugh and opted to not try and explain the song has been around longer than that. He can learn about Freddie Mercury another day.

A rainy, dreary Friday out here on the farm. It’s not raining as we write, but there are chances for thunderstorms later today, then more rain tonight. So the day will be a wash… If I use some detergent that is. (rimshot)

But Friday’s are welcome none-the-less. The boy has ’til noonish to raise hell with his sister. The lass doesn’t have to go anywhere. The weekend is looking to be very nice weather wise. So we’ve got nowhere to go but up!

FWIW, take a look at Pandora. If you’re already heard of it and are a fan and are also a ‘nix user of some sort, try out pianobar if you haven’t already. Good stuff. What else are you gonna do on a wet Friday?

The boy’s T-ball team had their 4th practice tonight and it was easily the best of the bunch. Something I thought noteworthy, all the older kids showed major improvements in their fielding skills. By older, I’m talking about the ones on the 6-year side of the spectrum. The boy had a really nice snag on a hard grounder, but the other kids were moving to the ball well and making nice plays. I can only think of a couple that rolled through without a glove touching them.

On a keeping it safe note, there weren’t any kamikazee-kids from the outfield flying into the infield tackling teammates for the ball. That alone was cause for celebration.

A little closer to home, the boy is also batting well off the tee. He’s hitting the ball solid and hard and, when compared to the other kids swings, doesn’t look like he’s swinging hard at all. Of course, he’s got an advantage over most of his mates because he’s the size of a 7 year old. Still, he’s doing well. I think he’s got a shot at hitting a homerun at some point. That would be fun to see.

I was playing with Lego’s with the boy tonight for awhile. My Mom dug them out of their storage spot back home and offered them up. Fortunately, the space based Lego’s were separate from the rest. He immediately latched onto them and hasn’t looked back. I’ve been building different spaceships to try and encourage his new habit.

Alas, the lass also likes to play with them. Unfortunately, she doesn’t take care of them and she’s already misplaced some pieces that are used to make a rocket. I told her she couldn’t play with the Lego’s until she’d found the pieces. She spent about 10 minutes looking, 9-and-a-half of which consisted of me saying “Having you looked in —?”

Finally, she declared “Daddy, I don’t really want to play with the Lego’s.”

They say water always finds the path of least resistance. I wonder what that makes her?

She then disappeared upstairs. After a few minutes, I asked the boy to go a see what she was up to. He came back downstairs and said she was sleeping under her bed and that I had to see her.

After a few more minutes, it was bedtime, so we cleaned up the Lego’s and then went upstairs. Sure enough, she was under her bed, fast asleep. I never realized how much room is under the bed. The Wife has a bed skirt on her bed which serves to make the spot a great fort.

She was curled up under the head side of the bed, with a blanket and pillows. She had her Horton (as in the Dr. Seuss elephant) tucked under her arm. There were a couple of books under the bed with her.

I considered throwing a blanket over her and leaving her there, but decided if she woke up disoriented in the middle of the night there would be hell to pay. So I pulled her out by her feet, hoisted her into bed, placed her blanket next to her and tucked Horton under her arm. She pulled him in tight to her. Other than that, she barely stirred.

Nothing like a cozy nook to fall asleep in.

The boy is filling up buckets with water at the moment. The hose he’s using has a multi-flow nozzle on it and all the settings are labeled; for instance ‘shower’ or ‘mist’.

One of the times he started filling up the bucket, he said “I’m going to switch it to ‘slobber’.” I laughed and looked at the setting on the nozzle- which read, as I suspected it would, ‘soaker’. This setting has no pressure behind it and the water just gushes out the end of the nozzle.

He had misread the word and I helped correct him. But afterwards I told him I preferred his original version. He liked that.

Maybe you had to be there…

BTW- He’s on the deck with the hose, I came in the house briefly to write this up. I keep the EEE far from him and water nowadays.

I’m sitting here trying to simply explain the He-man universe to the boy. When I was growing up we had the cartoons and my parents humored us by getting us most of the action figures and accessories. My brother and I played with them constantly- creating and destroying worlds. Even today, it’s still second nature to me. I imagine it’s the same for the brother.

The boy doesn’t have that reference to work with- so he’s sitting here fascinated by Castle Greyskull wondering how it came into being. He’s wondering what’s so special about He-man. I explain that He-man is super strong and can punch through walls. The boy wants to know if he can fly- I tell him no. Then he sits back and ponders the windows and doors in Castle Greyskull and concludes that He-man must have punched through those and how can a toy actually break rock?

So then I explain that it’s all in the imagination. That when he’s playing his toys are only limited to what he thinks they can do. That’s it’s pretend and that he can build his own universe and rules. That it’s important for him to have an imagination so that he’ll be able to look at problems and dream up solutions to them.

He turns and stares at the castle and ponders my words now.

All of this is over his head right now, but someday it won’t be.

One behavior I’ve noticed in the kids that quickly drives me to drink is the tattle-tailing. It would be one thing if we got useful updates like “The boy is lighting the curtains on fire!” or “The lass is dipping the dog’s tail in milk and flour!” or “She’s drawing a picture on the couch in permanent ink!”

These are, you know, useful pieces of information that I can act on.

The boy sang the following in the car on the way home:

Threader shocker,

Threader shocker,

Door may move,

Door may move,

Sunny lay martina,

Sunny lay martina,

Ding, Dang, Dong

Ding, Dang, Dong

I wish I could make that up.

Also, the kids had the following conversation:

the lass (in exaggerated, whiny tone): Mommmmaaa, I’mmmm thirrrrrsteeeeee….

the boy: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the lass: THAT’S ANNOYING!

the boy: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the lass: THAT’S ANNOYING!

the boy: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the lass: THAT’S ANNOYING!

the boy: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the lass: THAT’S ANNOYING!

the boy: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

the lass: THAT’S ANNOYING!

the boy: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

That’s actually the abbreviated version, lest ye think I exagerrate.

We left around 9 for the field yesterday. Since the festivities were supposed to start at 9:30, I figured we’d be lucky if we could park near the field. Apparently, the start time is more in the “when-everyone-has-shown-up” category and it didn’t start until 10 or so.

Opening ceremonies consisted of introducing all the teams and the coaches. The most interesting thing, from my perspective, was the late addition of myself as a coach on the boy’s team. Guess that’s what I get for helping out.

The T-ball games took about 15 minutes each. Each team got to bat once. Each kid got to bat once. Getting them to run the bases was a challenge. Getting them to shag the balls that were hit was a treat. Several kids figured they could play offense and defense. They ran the base path and then chased after the ball that was hit. Good entertainment.

The boy was convinced his team had won. We certainly don’t have to worry about his competitiveness. Hopefully I can teach him to rein it in.

That was it. We were all done before noon.

More in the amusing story genre actually. The Wife wanted the kids to go outside and play today. They drug their feet. So the Wife started counting.

She got to 3, and the kids both started scrambling to get out the door. The lass was the first to the door and she wasn’t moving fast enough to suit the boy’s taste. So he pushed her out, at which point the following exchange occurred:

the lass: HEY!! Why did you push ME?!?

the boy: Because I didn’t want Mom to get to ‘4’!

We had a small t-storm go through today. The boy is still intimidated, but not as panic-stricken. The lass is trying to convince herself that she’s afraid of thunder. Mostly because she wants someone to hold her. The Wife and I don’t buy it though.

Long day yesterday.

It started with the kids arguing about who gets to watch what cartoon. Followed by a trip to the vet for dog number 2. He’s touch excitable about these things, and whines incessantly. The silver lining is that he exhausts himself and eventually calms down and takes on the appearance of a respectable member of the canine species at that point. Until then, my ears hurt.