Author: Gerry

There are actually a number of things that I, personally, would throw into the “I’d do it differently now” category when it comes to the kids. But the one big one I always come back to is video games. In short, I really wished we’d waited before introducing them to the kids.

For one, both kids get nasty after playing with the game for awhile. I don’t know if staring at the pixels affects their brain or if there some kind of subliminal thing going on, but more often then not the kids get short tempered and grouchy after playing the game. It’s like they’re coming down off a high or something.

For two, the boy takes these games way to seriously and personally. There’s been many a time where the Wife and I stare at each other in slack-jawed amazement as the boy screams and cries in fury at a game. That’s usually followed by blaming the game for trying to cheat him. When we suggest to simply put the game down and walk away for a few minutes until he regains some semblance of dignity and composure, he refuses.

For three, there’s nothing more annoying than having one kid play and the other sit there and watch. And watch. And watch. If the one plays for 2 hours, the other will sit and watch for those 2 hours. The Wife and I have to resort to either pulling the plug on the games in general, or insisting the watcher go do something more productive.

Plus, there’s the non-stop “Can I play on my DS?” or “Can I play the Wii?” Then they get bored with the games they’ve got and want new ones, so that battle has to be fought.

I let myself be swayed by arguments for how the games encourage problem solving, eye-hand coordination and other such “benefits”. Plus, the friend factor works against the “nots” as well. Even if a game is refused them, thye will still get exposed to it via their friends. If only we could all get together before hand and agree that none of us will go in on the video game thing until their “older,” there might be a chance. Of course, some of them have older siblings, so that approach gets shot to hell in a hurry. Basically, everything is stacked against a parent where video games are concerned.

We all get assimilated eventually. But I’d make “eventually” a lot further out on the timeline if I could.

I would gladly pay tomorrow, for a hamburger today.

Wimpy, from Popeye

The Wimpy Gambit is when a child attempts to procure a promise for the future. What the promise is can range anywhere from having a cookie, to playing a video game, to having a friend over, to something they’ve never asked before. Sometimes the Wimpy Gambit is presented as an exchange. For instance, the child will voluntarily do a chore now if you’ll promise them something for later. The key is always: what is the “something?”

Of all the various techniques kids use, the Wimpy Gambit is the easiest to handle with a variety of techniques at the parent’s disposal. There is no one best way.

The simplest method is to give in. Of course, this depends entirely on how benign the “promise” is, which, of course, falls into the personal taste flavor of things. Generally speaking, if it’s harmless and/or hassle free, there’s little to lose. Plus, the parent has now gained an advantage: they allowed the child to do something, and some form of recompense can be made later on.

Another common counter technique is to brush the request off until later. The main hope here is that the child will forget their request. Generally speaking, this doesn’t happen. When it comes to something they want, children have a memory like an elephant. When brushing them off, be prepared for them broaching the subject later. Also, be prepared for a “Flood-the Zone” attack, where the child will continue to ask the same thing over and over again.

Denying the Wimpy Gambit is another possibility. The main cost here is the hassle of dealing with some sort of blow-back. The child may do anything from stomping off in a fit of rage and disappointment, to start whining and asking “Why?” (Answer: always “Because.”)

There’s also a horse-trading technique where the parent can extract favors, or promises of their own, from the child in exchange for their own promise. Generally, if allowable, this is the best way to go. Making them earn something in return for a reward of their own choosing can make everyone happy.

Often times, the Wimpy Gambit will be deployed when the child thinks the parent is either distracted or tired. Or both. It is an attempt to sneak one over an unsuspecting parent when their guard is down. The child can actually become quite accurate at judging these moments of weakness. This scenario can lead to the worst case outcome where a promise is made that never should have been. Beware, reneging on a “promise” does not go well with a child. Ever.