The boy faces the prospect of a three hour review for his martial arts this weekend. The goal is to go over material from the lower belt levels which they are responsible for as black belts. While he’s not averse to reviews, he is averse to the ones that take three hours. Welcome to black belt testing.
We talked about it tonight a bit. He brought it up, actually. He wanted to know if he had to do the whole thing. He then started whining that it was going to be too long and there was no way he could do it. It culminated with “I like karate, but I don’t like it for 3 hours.”
I’m a bit torn because I can understand that at his age, he’s just not ready mentally. He lacks the maturity. That said, it’s not like he’ll just wake up one day and suddenly be mature and capable. He’s got to try, fail, and try some more. Maturity is a process, and he has got to start somewhere. Three hour black belt reviews are as good a place as any.
What he really wanted from me was an out- a “Get Out of Jail Free” card as a gift from me. It’s perfectly normal, really. For his entire life either the Wife or I have helped him solve, or outright solved for him, his problems. As he’s gotten older we’ve tried to push that responsibility more and more onto his shoulders, but we still do a lot for him. Here was one more case he wanted to foist onto us.
Now, in the short term, there is a reprieve. The Wife has already spoken with the instructors who informed her that his real testing will start with the Spring cycle. That means he doesn’t have to do the full three hour review this weekend.
It is only a reprieve, though. If he wants his black belt he will have to go through several hours of testing. I have no say in it and can’t make it any other way. His only option is to delay, which only extends his timetable for attaining his black belt. If he wants it, there is no way around, he’ll have to go through. He’ll be better and stronger for it, but he doesn’t get that yet.
One reply on “We Can’t Fix Everything”
You can’t FIX this for him. This is one of those life lessons that he has to learn … Something of value must be earned .. Not a concept he understands at this point … Perhaps the temporary reprieve will help him realize that his instructors must evaluate his skill sets so they can help him achieve his goals … He is still a ‘grass hopper’ … And has much to learn before the elusive belt becomes part of his attire !