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The Last Bagel

You never know what will set a child off into a deep, dark, funk.

The first thing I heard when I came downstairs this morning was “Wait, you’re eating the last bagel?”

I had quite literally just rolled out of bed and stumbled downstairs. I was still feeling foggy and heading for the coffee maker to make myself a fresh cup. Despite my early morning fog condition, the boy’s immediate reaction to the revelation that the last bagel had been claimed by his sister was plain to see.

He slumped forward, his head dipping low, almost touching the counter. There was a pained expression on his face like he had a bad case of gas trapped in his stomach. He stayed like that for several seconds. By that time, I’d made my way to the coffee maker and was preparing my cup. I’d been hoping to at least get a mouthful before things got desperate.

Then, in a teary voice, the boy croaked “I can’t believe you ate the last bagel. I never get the last bagel. Did you ever think that I might want to have it?”

WOW

So much emotion over a bagel. And he “never gets the last bagel”? Who knew he kept track of such a thing? He can’t remember where his karate uniform is, but he can remember that he’s never had a “last bagel.” Then the accusation towards his sister- obviously she owes it to him to check what’s on his menu in the morning. All this emotion brought on by a bagel.

I wish I could say the humor continued from there. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. I can say, though, that I finally did get to enjoy my cup of coffee. I went and sat down on the couch to enjoy it for a few moments and was joined by the boy, whom curled up with a pout on his face. You’d have thought he’d learned that he’d been permanently placed on Santa’s naughty list.

The boy’s attitude didn’t improve until we got into the car for school. Along the way, the Wife and I both admonished him to let it go. Even after he finally did have his bagel-less breakfast, he held the grudge against his sister. For her part, the lass didn’t try to rub it in. All she wanted was to enjoy her bagel. The boy did his best to make her feel guilty about it though.

I wish I could draw a neat and tidy conclusion from this morning’s experience, but the reality is I’ve got nothing. It struck me as absurd when the boy pulled his routine this morning and it strikes me just as absurd now. The bottom line is a parent just never knows when that next crisis is going to hit.

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