I get that we’re finally coming down to the final few weeks of school. In fact, I think we’re coming up on 2 weeks to go. Naturally, effort levels are starting to tail off a bit, even if the homework load is not.
We’ve fought the boy for most of the year where his writing assignments are concerned. His priority is getting them done. Our priority is trying to teach him some good habits now while getting him to do the work as well. Those habits include spelling, grammar and punctuation. The ability to write well about a subject comes with time, reading and practice.
Per his usual, tonight the boy just wanted to complete his homework, which involved writing 2 paragraphs about some reading he’d chosen. He needed to write a summary paragraph about the reading and then write a paragraph to answer one of five potential questions. He wasn’t sure how to proceed with answering the question, so I was helping him by asking him questions to get him thinking about what he needed to write.
Except the boy wasn’t trying. I’d ask him a question, he’d mumble a reply. I’d try another angle, he’d mumble another reply. I’d finally get him to answer a question, then he’d just sit there doing nothing. This went on for the better part of 30 minutes. It was getting close to his bed time.
Most importantly, I was getting frustrated. Mostly, at his gross lack of effort. So I started yelling.
He almost immediately teared up. I didn’t have, nor did I want to, yell for very long. I was mad at myself for yelling, but internally I was shrugging because what else could I have done? He simply wasn’t even trying to do the work well. I was trying harder than he was, and it wasn’t my homework!
We finally finished working through the assignment. Mostly because his effort level improved so dramatically. He’ll have to write a final draft in the morning, but the hard part is all done.
After he brushed his teeth, but before he went to bed, I pulled him aside and hugged him and said “Don’t make me yell at you anymore.”
He hugged me back, “I don’t like it when you yell at me.”
“I don’t like yelling at you,” I replied.
“I try to not make you yell at me, but I keep slipping up.” I didn’t answer him back.
In a couple more weeks, we’ll all get a break from homework. It will be welcome.