Somewhere along the way, in the boy’s developing sense of how the Universe is supposed to spin, he got it in his head that “older” equals “better.” Now, the Grandparents out there might largely agree with that assessment, but the boy has been ruthlessly applying this reasoning when comparing himself and his sister.
He hates losing to her because “he’s older and should win because older people are supposed to win.” And he hates her knowing things that he doesn’t because “when you’re older, you’re supposed to know more stuff than younger people.” He also hates the idea that she’s learning to read because she’s been getting better at it faster than he did. Never mind the fact that he’s still a better reader right now because of practice.
I’m aware that part of his reasoning surely comes from his comparing himself to the Wife and I. The most obvious difference, besides the physical ones anyway, is we are much older than him. But his generalization of the concept to the extreme he’s taking it is just… odd. It’s not something the Wife and I have ever tried to emphasize.
I suppose that’s not entirely true. When it has come up, it’s usually been in the form of trying to explain to him why he needs to be careful when rough-and-tumbling with his sister, or when he expects her to be capable of something simply because he is. But that’s a long way from telling him that his poop doesn’t stink because he was born 18 months earlier than his sister. And trust me, it stinks (and still clogs toilets).
I suppose it could be as simple as he hasn’t learned that there aren’t many “rules” in life that aren’t broken at one point or another. Big people are clumsy and dumb, except when they’re not. Little people are annoying, except when they’re not. Older people are better at everything that younger people, except when they’re not. The point being, of course, that they aren’t really rules to begin with. Rather, they’re erroneous conclusions based on small sampling size (except for small people being annoying, that one’s true). Try explaining that to an 8 year-old.
Maybe when he gets a little older, he’ll understand that.
2 replies on “An Odd Quirk”
Geez…you are really going to have a tough time explaining the concept of stereotypes and cliches, because, you know, they aren’t good to use, but they’re essentially true, even though you would hope in some cases they weren’t, but they are painfully accurate. Oh, and Murphy’s Law…that should be a good one too! Senility could throw his age issue for a loop…at some point you actually get so smart tabs old that you lose your mind and start at zero…
Maybe just tell him he shouldn’t be so excited to “know everything” because after that, what are you supposed to do? It is better to try and convince people you know everything, as you learn along the way.
Perhaps another consideration is that the ladd is becoming aware of the inevitable balance of power, and his role in the hierarchy of life as he knows it … he is assuming a threshold of entitlement – which might be the result of his ‘first born’ status [perhaps the karate instruction will help with this realization and recognirion that power is a balance of intellect and strength … he will learn the answers to all of these life issues as time goes on … as long as you maintain a steady, level hand on those “ties that bind …”