The boy managed to rebound in his martial arts classes tonight, earning his stripe and thus his next belt level.
But it wasn’t easy.
He tested last month, but failed to perform some self-defense techniques properly, so he had to come back and work another month at it. He tested on Monday, but they still didn’t give him his stripe. The problem this time was with his technique in his forms.
Being young and immature, he stomped out of the school, leaving the Wife to figure out what had gone wrong. She learned the problems from the instructor, who also informed her that he could test again today and still earn his stripe.
Now, one might assume that given the circumstances, any normal individual would willingly, perhaps even eagerly, put in a little time to polish his forms to insure that he earned his stripe. However, someone who makes that assumption doesn’t understand the way 8 year-olds think.
I use the term “8 year-olds” somewhat hesitantly, because I’m aware that not all 8 year-olds are identical. That said, I’ve spoken with enough parents about enough similar-but-different circumstances to believe for the moment that the boy’s behavior is, basically, age appropriate. Certainly, it isn’t unusual.
Not that it isn’t frustrating. It makes me wonder if there’s anything we could have done different along the way to improve his ability to handle adversity. The pouting, feeling-sorry-for-myself, whoa-is-me, I’ll-never-get-it-right attitude is really tiresome. Did I mention that he does the same thing in math? I swear, unless he’s a superstar at whatever from the get go, this is the routine he pulls.
So anyway, he begrudgingly came and asked me to help last night at the Wife’s suggestion. Things started off very rocky. After the first couple of attempts, I simply looked at him and said “I can’t do it for you and do you really think you’ll earn your stripe if you do it like that tomorrow?” He muttered something unintelligible, at which point I simply looked away and said “Fine, do it your way.”
Reverse psychology is a startlingly effective technique. I had to employ it several more times, but eventually his enthusiasm was improved, as was his technique in his form. In the end, he probably could have practiced more, but he’d done enough and it seemed like a good chance to end on a high note.
I can say that the instructors expect a lot more from the red-belt level. I suspect that the little drama his practice was last night won’t be the last.