An essay about feeding the baby, over at Deadspin. It’s a bit profane, but has some real funny parts. The following in particular had me laughing out loud:
So you’ve got your formula, now you have to carefully take one level, unpacked scoop of the shit and add it to two ounces of water. They sell bottle warmers to help you warm up the formula for your kid, but I use warm tap water because I like to live DANGEROUSLY. In a perfect world, I would use pristine filtered water distilled from a distant lake in Finland, then lovingly mix the formula inside a Hamilton Beach blender in order to ensure consistency. But it’s 5 a.m. and there’s a baby in my hands that’s screaming to the point of bleeding out of its f***ing eyes, so that plan goes out the door. The baby will get 2.3 ounces of fluid and a half a jigger of powder, served CHUNKY STYLE.
Hilarious. I chuckled just reading through it.
This, too, is chuckle inducing:
They barf all the time, and yet I still fall for it when I’m rocking with them peacefully and waiting for them to shut their eyes and then WHOA HEY HOLY S**T HE’S BARFING PEOPLE.
So true.