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Stupid Things Kids Do

“What do the dog collars feel like?” the boy asked.

He was talking about the collars that go with the electric fence. The collars have two prongs that reach down to the dog’s skin. First, the collar beeps- the dog should be conditioned to back away when they hear the beep. If they don’t move within a second or so, then they get a shock.

I’ve subjected myself to the shock, and while it isn’t pleasant, it isn’t the most painful thing in the world. It’s enough to be attention getting. Which I think is the main point when it comes to a dog- get their attention, thereby breaking their attention on whatever it is that’s tempting them on the other side of the fence.

I explained it to the boy, the lass as well since she was listening intently.

“Will it work on us?” he wanted to know next.

“Yes- as long as you’re touching the two metal fingers on the collar it will shock you.”

He then declared “I’m going to try it.”

I smirked, nodded my head and said “OK.” I’m not sure why he all of a sudden decided that he wanted to try this, but I really didn’t see any reason not to let him do it. Like I said, it wasn’t going to hurt him, although I fully expected him to yelp and drop the collar when it zapped him. But his curiosity would be satisfied.

Then he asked, “Will I ever forget it?”

I think he meant this question in the vein of “a momentous moment I’ll never forget for the rest of my life.” Obviously, I don’t think it rises quite to that level. But, he had never experienced an electrical shock before. So yeah- he’ll likely remember it.

So the boy and the lass each grabbed a collar and ventured out onto the driveway. That’s where the clearest path to crossing the electric fence is. I went out onto the porch to witness what I assumed would be entertainment.

Both of them immediately got the goofy-giggles kids get when they’re about to try something they know is a little crazy. The boy started psyching himself up for the big moment until he abruptly switched tactics.

He told his sister to go first.

I almost face-palmed. His sister walked up to the fence, but then danced away giggling.

So I decided to stir the pot a bit. I called out to the boy “You know, do you really want your little sister to do this before you and risk having everyone find out that she was braver than you?”

That had the desired affect. The boy finally decided on his course of action: he backed up to the garage door and started running as hard as he could towards the invisible line. His sister tried to keep up. As he neared the fence, he started to scream a little, anticipating the big moment. His sister pulled up short. The boy ran right on through.

When he came to a stop on the other side of the fence, he turned around and looked at his sister, whom had stopped. I hadn’t heard any beeping and he hadn’t dropped the collar. I though he might have actually gone through the field before the collar could activate the shock. But then he said “It just felt like a little buzz in my hand.” He sounded disappointed.

The lass was now upset and actively working herself up. She’d blown her chance by stopping short and now her brother had one over on her. Not a tenable situation. Amazingly, the boy agreed to go back across with her. So they started the whole thing over again.

This time, the result was the opposite: the boy stopped short and the lass ran across the threshold. She even had the same non-response to getting zapped.

And that was it. Their curiosity satisfied, the kids started making their way to the door. For my part, I headed back in to the house to start dinner, surprised at the subdued outcome of the whole affair. I guess we all learned something.

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