Don’t Get Mad- Get Even

The boy came off the ice from Saturday’s hockey practice visibly upset. Watching him for the final few minutes they were on the ice, it was clear that he was upset. He wasn’t skating hard at all and seemed to be deliberately ignoring the drill he in which he was involved. I’d say he was attempting to be provocative. Thankfully, the coach wasn’t biting.

Turns out he was upset because some of the other kids were laughing at him during one of the drills where he was the goalie. He was also upset because they seemed to have targeted him during one of the other drills where they just kept taking him down anytime he got the puck. He didn’t know what to make of the circumstances- other than that he didn’t like them.

For once, I was on firm ground in counseling him. I’ve suffered through similar circumstances in my time and I’d been hoping something like this would happen. Mental toughness is a valuable trait to acquire and there’s no better opportunity than when you’re made an object of ridicule.

The first rule I told him was, when getting laughed at- ignore it. It would be better if he could come up with a witty remark of some sort, but I think that’s asking a bit much from a 7-year old. I explained that if you let your antagonizer see they are getting to you, then it will only encourage them to continue.

The second thing I explained is that, as long as it’s within the rules give back to them twice as hard. If they bump you down, then go knock them down every chance you get. If you sense them coming up to try and take you down, push them away or shove back. Opponents will use whatever they can to gain an advantage in a direct competition, don’t let them get that advantage. I told him if he kept after them, they’d change their tune in a hurry.

But mostly, I told him outside of my advising him on what he could do to combat the circumstances, I told him I absolutely couldn’t intervene on his behalf. I couldn’t go to the other Dad and ask them to take it easy on him or go and talk to the other boys directly. That course would only make matters worse for the boy. There are some fights he has to wage, and succeed or fail, on his own.

He seemed to be intrigued by the advice. Particularly when I told him he could push back. My guess is it’ll take a time or two more before he remembers and gets a chance to really apply what I told him. Hopefully he doesn’t go overboard when he does. But, we’ll deal with that when, and if, it happens.