Dealing with a Group of Kids

If there’s one word I’d use to describe how to manage a group of kids, it’s “vigilance.” The second one I’d use is “exhausting,” which is a consequence of the first one.

I’ve actually been fortunate enough to both participate in managing groups of kids and watch other people manage the feat. Even more fortunately, I’ve had the opportunity to watch people who are very effective at the task. So I’ve been able to apply things I “think” I’ve observed and see how well they work. I believe it is a skill that is more natural to some than others; that said, I think anyone can learn them.

After the jump are my own observations, and experiences, in how to deal with a group of kids.

The first element is energy. A friend of mine has told me a number of times “Your energy level has to be higher than theirs.” That’s why after the activity is over, an adult is likely to feel drained or exhausted. Maintaining a higher energy level than young kids is no easy feat. Talking with force; demonstrating drills or active participation; monitoring all the kids and making sure they all get instruction, encouragement and, when necessary, discipline; using humor and answering questions are all examples of demonstrating energy. Doing so projects confidence and kids will follow, if in a wavy-all-over-the-place kind of way, this kind of example.

Keeping rules simple is another element. The younger the child, the shorter their attention span. When in numbers, any one kid’s ability to focus is compromised even more. Simple rules allow an adult to not waste energy on unimportant things, while also giving the kid a chance to succeed at following the rules. Let them goof off a bit when time allows if they are not becoming a distraction and if they aren’t getting too wild. Whatever the rules may be, they must be enforced ruthlessly. Those last two statements may seem at odds, but they are not. Rules should be specific and unambiguously enforced. For instance, at a recent coach pitch game a bunch of the kids started climbing the fence out of impatience with the batting order. The coach made them sit and didn’t allow them to bat that inning. Next time around, the kids policed themselves.

Enforcement, or discipline, needs to be immediate and emotionless. Kids that are caught not paying attention at the boy’s karate lessons are told to do push-ups, but then encouraged to get right back into the drills. Don’t hold grudges when disciplining. Kids are sensitive to being singled out and generally don’t respond well to it. By consistently applying discipling, kids learn through the examples of others how not to behave, as well as through the fact that their own behavior isn’t resulting in some kind of consequence. It also allows them to hone their own focusing skills; they will focus on the instructor as appropriate, while taking time to goof off a bit once the instruction is over. Note the element of “carrot-and-stick” here: if the child pays attention they are rewarded by letting them blow off some steam when instruction is over.

Another key element is to keep the kids moving as much as possible. The more down time kids have, the more opportunity they have to engage in mischief. Also, the behavior snowballs and where normally only 1 or 2 kids start to get antsy, many more quickly follow suit. Once a child goes down that road, the more energy it takes to get them set back up.

Good instructors regularly “test” the kids. “Mr. So-and-So, what was I just talking about?” and now the kid has an opportunity to show they were paying attention. Or not. If not, some kind of punishment is handed down. I’ve even seen some instructors go so far as to setup a suspected offender: “Mr. So-and-So, are you paying attention? Yes? Well, then what was I just talking about?” If they weren’t, they’ve been caught lying as well. On occasion, I’ve heard a kid cop to not paying attention and, in those instances, the instructor simply says “I thought not…” and then reiterates his or her point, implicitly rewarding the child’s honesty by not disciplining the child.

When kids should be paying attention, make sure they do so. While the point sounds obvious, in practice it is not. Many times, the tendency for an instructor is to wait for a child to notice that everyone is waiting on them, only to get visibly frustrated as the child continues to not pay attention. The instructor is wasting their own time by waiting, as well as the time of those who are ready and paying attention. A less obvious consequence is they are allowing the child to control them. I’ve seen younger instructors at the boy’s karate school make this mistake, sometimes allowing a lone wild-card to implicitly dominate them through procrastination. Don’t wait for a child to realize they are being waited on; don’t wait on a kid who is deliberately procrastinating.

Individually, the above items don’t seem that important. But applying them consistently, especially with the same group of kids, yields surprisingly pleasant results. The instructor builds a rapport with the kids very quickly, allowing the instructor to focus on the desired material, as oppose to the kids behavior, or lack thereof.