The Smile Reflex

Here’s the situation. One of the kids has done something wrong and we’ve got them dead to rights. We know exactly what to say, how to say it and how it to finish it with a flourish for maximum effect. They’ll never make that mistake again after this little speech.

And now the speech is well underway and hitting it’s stride where maximum corrective benefit is about to be attained.

Wait wait wait. What’s that? What’s the kid doing?

Are they … smiling?

This is the Smiling Reflex. It seems to appear sometime around the 5 year mark. The characteristics are as simple as described above. In the middle of some kind of behavior correcting dialog, the child gets a big grin on their face. This then leads to all kinds of facial contortions as the try to stifle the smile. Usually, they’ll immediately look away or down and kind of pull their lips in to try and get it under control. This attempted control typically fails and makes matters worse.

Which, depending on the disposition of the parent at the time, is only half the problem. I’ve come to the determination that they don’t, in fact, find the situation funny. So don’t make that mistake. Further, whatever you do, don’t ask them if they think something is funny. It only makes them smile more. Rather, the best approach really is to just ignore it as best you can.

Unfortunately, that can be hard to do. The Smiling Reflex really crosses the communication wires because it seems like such a blatant act of disrespect. Right in the middle of scolding them to boot! The nerve! But, as I said, I really don’t think it has anything to do with that. I think it’s more like one of those moments we get where a screw comes loose and we can’t help but laugh. Like a newscaster who loses it on the air, all the while fighting desperately to not lose it.

The Smiling Reflex appears without warning and its occurrence is unpredictable. The best defense is to be aware of it’s possibility. Like hiccups, there is no known way to stop the Smiling Reflex.