My favorite lines from A Christmas Story, in no particular order:
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Ralphie’s Dad: You used all the glue- ON PURPOSE!!
(I know I said no order, but this one is hands down my favorite.) -
Ralphie as an Adult: Randy lay there like a slug; it was his only defense.
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Ralphie as an Adult: Only I didn’t say “fudge,” I said The Word; the Queen Mother of all dirty words; the ‘F’, dash, dash, dash word.
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Ralphie as an Adult: When Scott Farkus said anything to you, it made you feel warm and good inside. Normally, he just punched you in the mouth.
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Ralphie’s Dad: NOTTA FINGAH!!!
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Ralphie’s Dad: FRA-JEE-LAY…Oh- must be Italian.
Ralphie’s Mom: That says “FRAGILE” Frank.
Ralphie’s Dad: Oh yeah, right.
(Alright, it’s not a “line.” But it makes me laugh just thinking it.) -
Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple-dare and going straight for the throat!
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Waiters at Chinese Restaurant: FA-RA-RA-RA-RA, RA-RA, RA, RA!
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Ralphie’s Dad: It’s, um, smiling at me.
(This line isn’t funny by itself, but followed by the head chef chopping the goose’s head off right there on the table… Well, let’s just say it strains bladder control.) -
Ralphie as an Adult: Adults love to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.
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Ralphie’s Dad: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.
Ralphie’s Mom: He does not!
Ralphie’s Dad: He does TOO! He looks like a pink nightmare! -
Ralphie’s Brother: I can’t put my arms down!
Ralphie’s Mom: You can put your arms down when you get to school.
Not exhaustive. I’ve deliberately left out setting descriptions because they are all etched into my memory. If you can’t remember them, then you clearly haven’t watched the movie enough yet!