The Power Washer

Why didn’t someone tell me how great a thing the power washer is?

I cleaned the front porch yesterday. It was amazing. I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of scrubbing and chemicals that would have been required in the absence of the power washer. And, in all likelihood, all that effort would not have achieved anywhere near the same result.

I can only imagine the inventor’s thought process: “Man, this stupid little trickle of water just ain’t cutting it. I need MORE POWER!” Fifteen minutes, a lawn mower engine, some coupling and duct tape (is there any doubt duct tape was involved?) later he’s declaring “WHHHHHOOOOOOOEY! This done the greatest thing ever! I just done cleaned up the whole place if 5 minutes! Hey Martha, git out here and check this out … Oh, sorry. I was a little excited there. Don’t worry, you’re pretty good with a needle and thread, and your hair will grow back…”

I’m pretty sure there nothing it can’t handle: decks, vinyl siding, concrete, childhood acne, annoying neighbors. Heck, I cleaned the inside of our pool with it while water was still in the pool. OK, maybe not. But anyway, I highly recommend finding some excuse to use a power washer.

Maybe we can bring one down to Washington DC. From where I sit, there’s quite a few buildings that need cleaning.