The boy got himself sent to bed early tonight. We had a full day between his MA class and the beach. By the time we finally sat down with all the chores done, it was to late for a movie. But he didn’t want to hear that. So he blamed Mom.
When I corrected him that there was no blame, he got ornery and doubled down. So I sent him to bed. I don’t take kindly to that sort of willful disrespect. Especially when his Mother is the target.
Then, when Mom went up to check on him he gave her more attitude, so she left.
And that’s when the tears started.
The Wife immediately felt guilty. I told her what she already knew. That he was tired and he’s pretty regular with meltdowns of this sort when tired.
Then I realized that the behaviour is also a holdover from when he was baby. At that stage, babies use their cry to get what they want. Hungry? Cry. Dirty diaper? Cry. Just want to be picked up? Cry. That’s what they do.
In this case, he wanted Mom to come back and let him come down from his room. So he cried- because he was too tired to think of another way to get what he wanted and unwilling to accept his fate. It’s his solution of last resort.
He has another behavior where he’ll whine on the verge of tears when frustrated. Usually, he’ll do this when he wants someone to help him figure something out. Putting together Lego’s, figuring out a word he’s reading, that sort of thing. We’ve learned to extend our own patience and continue to encourage him to work through the problem. Ideally, we don’t have to help him at all (other than encouraging him to stay calm and keep at it, of course), but usually we offer the minimum to help him get through it.
He’s giving glimpses of what’s to come. He regularly employs reason and logic to try to persuade us to go along with his ideas or plans. The good thing is, when he’s like that, he’s also persuadable. But when his inner infant comes out, not so much.
When we finally went up to put the lass to bed, he’s was fast asleep-
Like a baby.