Category: Family

Well, today was all about me. Guess that makes it like every other day. COUGH!

When I got downstairs this morning, the Wife gave me a hug and wished me a happy Father’s Day then directed me towards the cup of coffee she’d made for me. That counts as a good start to any day in my book.

As I stumbled over to the cup, I realized the boy had attached himself to one of my legs. He looked up at me with a big grin and said “Morning Dad, happy Father’s Day.” He likes being goofy like that every now and again. I tousled his hair and thanked him, at which point he detached from my leg and went to the TV to watch cartoons.

I finished my journey to the cup of coffee and then followed him. Shortly thereafter, the lass jumped on my lap. Luckily, I’d set the coffee aside. She gave me a big hug and Happy Father’s day wishes as well.

Then they started fighting about which cartoon they were going to watch. The lass ultimately won that battle and we were treated to several episodes of Godzilla because, as everyone surely knows, big fire-breathing lizards are cool.

The gifts were good- the latest novel from Stephen King Under the Dome from the Wife, Tyrannosaurus Dad from the lass, and a Bey Blade from the boy. Personally, I think he’s hoping I’ll bequeath it to him. Especially if it turns out to be a good one. He even ran upstairs and got his Bey Blade “arena” so I could try it out.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the cards the kids made. The lass made a baseball card for me with the punchline “You’re a hit with me!” and the boy made a card with a picture of some guy sitting at a computer desk. Very subtle. But he also made a picture of him and me swimming in our little pool together, so at least I’m not just on the computer all the time.

The remainder of the day was basically spent relaxing. The weather was great so the kids spent a lot of time in the pool. Some friends came over and we had home cooked baby-back ribs for dinner. Then the kids went back into the pool and didn’t come out until they were quivering masses of blue-jello. By that time, the Sun was basically gone from the yard, so they wrapped themselves in towels and shivered themselves warm again.

They didn’t put up a fight going to bed, making it a good ending to a good day.

No Scouting activities to go to. No recitals to attend. No coach pitch games to coach. No end-of-the-year school activities to see and record. No practices scheduled. No after-school activities to get the kids to.

And as I look out the window, it’s starting to look like ‘no rain’ as well.

We’ll probably be bored out of our skulls before noon.

It’s hard to overstate how effective taking an interest, or conversely a lack thereof, in your kid’s activities can affect their attitude towards that activity. And not just a passing interest where I ask a few questions, or go to watch them participate. I’ve found that it needs to be an honest interest where I demonstrate that I actually care.

I was clued into the phenomena by another parent. (And let me state unequivocally that other parents are the greatest resource any parent can have.) Back during the hockey season, I had a discussion with a Dad who’s son had tons of enthusiasm for hockey. It was obvious after only a few minutes of talking that his son’s enthusiasm was a direct reflection of the father’s enthusiasm. The father was quite blunt about it, stating “You have to be like that, you know? Because if you aren’t why should they?”

At the time, I was a little more reserved because my attitude was the boy should be allowed to choose what he liked or didn’t like. Why should I try to impose my likes or dislikes on him? I’ve always felt that it’s his life and it’s my place to guide, expose and encourage. But not to choose, other than in the obvious way that there are only so many things I can expose him to.

I now realize there’s a not-so-obvious consequence to that approach- not truly caring blunts their own interest. Sure, they’ll participate in the activity. But they won’t truly find any joy in it. It simply turns into another chore, something they do because they are compelled to do so.

On the other had, caring about hockey or karate or dancing or music lessons helps develop a bond with the child that transcends the parent-child relationship. Participating with the child and growing with them in the activity creates something that a parent will always have in common with them. If done right, it’s something that will always be fun and that both will remember.

I had that with my Father with football and track and field. I also had it with my Mom who has always gone to lengths to take an interest in anything me and my siblings were doing- be it reading (she’d read the books ahead of time), school projects or knitting (she taught me to knit back before knitting was cool).

I’ve also realized that it’s never too early. The boy loves Legos now because we started putting them in front of him years ago and the Wife or I would sit and help him build the project. The lass loves listening to audio books because the Wife and I sit and read to her all the time.

An old piece of advice my Father told me when the boy was born comes to mind: “Kid’s do as you do, not as you say.” At the time, he was referring to instilling good habits into kids. But now, I think the advice applies more broadly. Kids are looking for guidance all the time- how to act, what to say, what to do. Parent’s are there to, among other things, fill that void.

There are worse lessons to learn than showing that it’s good and OK to care about something.

The lass came home and the first thing she wanted to do was go in the pool. That’s fine- it’s there to be used. But first some lunch and some sunscreen. We made her wait for her food to settle, telling her she’d get stomach cramps if she went into the water to soon after eating. Thus, passing on the urban legend to a new generation.

She wanted to know if I’d go in the pool with her. I told her later.

So after about 30 minutes in the water, her lips are purple. The water temp is probably up to a scalding 60 or so. She gets out and 30 seconds later, begins the questioning period.

Q: Have I warmed up yet?
A: No.
Q: Are my lips still purple?
A: Yes.
Q: When will I be warm enough?
A: When you’re teeth stop chattering.

Recycle this every couple of minutes and you get the idea.

When she finally is warm enough, she asks me to get in the pool with her. But I declined initially. I’m not really sure why, I just don’t feel like going in the pool at that moment.

So she doesn’t go in the pool either. Instead, she follows me around puppy-like. I went inside to listen to Pandora for a bit and she came in with me and sat down quietly to play with the Legos. I asked her why she wasn’t going in the pool. She replies “Because you aren’t.”

Then I notice the song playing from Pandora, Cat’s In the Cradle. Really. I look over at the lass still sitting there with the Legos.

Being around the kids all the time, I tend to get to points where I take them for granted. With Summer vacation coming, that feeling will intensify. To some degree, it’s only natural. I believe that old saying goes “familiarity breeds contempt” and like most old sayings, there’s a kernel of truth to it.

But in the end, it’s just an excuse. The kids are kids only for so long. Then, their interests will expand beyond our family to friends and the like. When that time comes, the opportunities to do simple things with them dwindle. Then, one day, they’re all but gone.

But here and now, the lass still wants to going swimming. And it seems best not to be like the guy in the song.

The water guy just left. It only took him about 15 minutes to fill 3500 gallons or so (about 3 feet). For comparison’s sake, it took the hose from our well about 3 hours to fill it with 6 inches of water.

The water temp is probably 55F or so. How cold is that? Cold enough to chill my arm in the 45 seconds or so it took to hook up the filter. The kids will still jump in without (much!) hesitation. It supposed to be near 90 for the next couple days, so it’ll be a nice way to cool down anyway.

I setup our inflatable pool over the weekend. It’s one of those pools with an inflatable ring so, as the water fills the pool, the ring floats up and prevents the water from flowing over the edge and emptying the pool. It’s a 15 foot pool and it takes roughly 4-5 thousand gallons to fill, so I don’t fill it completely from our well. Rather, I fill it enough to make sure it stays put and it’s level so that it can be filled completely.

I finished everything Saturday afternoon and put about 6 inches of water in it to make sure everything was OK.

The lass spent all afternoon in those 6 inches of water. She even got her snorkel and mini-boogie board to play with in it. She played in it so long that her lips turned blue. Some clouds moved in so a short time before the boy arrived home, she put on some play clothes.

When the boy got home from school, he decided he wanted to play in the pool as well. So the boy got in his swimsuit and went for a dip. The lass also decided she hadn’t had quite enough of the pool, so she put her swimsuit back on and joined him.

And all it takes is 6 inches of water. Who am I kidding. It probably doesn’t even take that much.

The Wife just took the kids to school. She’ll be gone with the boy until the afternoon on a field trip to the zoo. The lass will be back at her usual time this morning.

So what to do with my temporary freedom this morning? Almost 4 whole hours…

I spent the afternoon leveling an area for the kid’s pool. Actually, re-leveling the area. I wanted to make sure it was in good shape before setting things up. Those pools with the inflatable rings have a tendency to walk. I finished everything I wanted around the time the boy’s bus arrives.

As I was sitting waiting for the boy to arrive, I started thinking how I needed a shower- all the dust and dirt gets everywhere. That thought reminded me that the boy would be taking a shower after he got home today.

Why? Because he always gets all sweated up after stay-and-play and he has a Spring Concert tonight. The Wife didn’t want him all grimed up for the performance (no solos, as far as we know).

And then I realized, he wasn’t coming home on the bus today. He was staying after school and needed to be picked up.

Meaning I didn’t need to wait for the bus.

But at least I could go take a shower.

The first thing I heard was “Come here quick! And bring the camera!” followed by more muted but equally forceful statements to the kids to stay put. My first thought was a snake, but that didn’t make sense. If the Wife saw a snake, she wouldn’t want a camera, she’d want a tree to climb. I grabbed the camera and headed out.

“There’s a big box turtle in our garden,” she said. She was also fairly emphatic that she wanted it gone because she couldn’t finish her weeding with the turtle in the garden. First, I’m pretty sure she was referring to a painted turtle and second, how big could it be?

I was prepared for something in the 6-8 inch range for a shell and figured getting it out of there wouldn’t be an issue.

Let’s just say there was plenty of wrong to go around.

As a “something totally different” for us to do, we went camping this past weekend. We only did an overnight because of logistics involving house sitting, mainly pet management. That said, we all had a blast, especially the kids, and we’ll be looking forward to doing it again some time. As a proxy for seriousness, we’ll probably start investigating a more appropriate tent for us to use for our future trips.