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Family

FDOS

Nothing much to report about the kid’s first day back. It wasn’t as awful as they thought (hoped) and they were basically smiles when they got home. Lots of paperwork to fill out along the lines of “What’s your child like?” and “Help me understand your child better.” They’ve even prepared their snacks for lunch tomorrow.

As for me, it was nice having a full day. I spent the morning in a martial arts lesson and then the afternoon putting another finish coat on the armoire. While on the subject, I expect to be finishing it, completely, tomorrow. The only catch will be whether the Wife and I can get the cabinet up the stairs. There’s a decent chance of managing it because I can strip the shelves, top and doors off; which still leaves a lot of weight, but it’s manageable.

My respite will be short lived, though. Cub Scouts is gearing up; I’ll probably be doing some tutoring; and I’ve got lots of projects to make progress on. Should be an interesting year for us all.

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Family

It’s All Over

Summer vacation for the kids that is. Right now.

Yes, I’m smiling.

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Family

Wanting Emotional Satisfaction and Not Getting It

This morning actually started last night.

We spent the day yesterday running around, basically. I had Cub Scout duties as well as landlord duties. For the Scouts, I was picking up popcorn for the Fall fundraiser and my landlord duties involved checking out the installation of a new floor in the kitchen of our rental. I got back around lunch time. The Wife, for her part, took the lass to sign her up for this year’s dance lessons.

The rest of the afternoon we spent at a local fair.

We got home and lazed the rest of the day away. The kids weren’t hungry, so I eventually just made the Wife and I a simple dinner.

Shortly after that, the lass put in her breakfast order- she wanted potato pancakes.

Shortly after that, the Wife informed me that we’d be making blueberry pancakes in the morning because the blueberries were starting to show their age.

Shortly after that, I decided I’d cook bacon. Yum.

One thing about the lass is that once she makes up her mind about something, she’s not shy about reminders. Constant, reminders. So it was for the remainder of the evening, with a final “Remember Dad, we’re having potato pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.”

When I came downstairs, this morning, both kids were already up and watching cartoons. The lass waited about 5 seconds and then asked when I would start making the potato pancakes.

At this point, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that she was disappointed by the blueberry pancakes that we made.

Actually, disappointed is what happens when you call heads and it comes up tails. Disappointed is what happens when you don’t win the Sweepstakes.

The lass, upon seeing that she would not be eating potato pancakes for breakfast, threw her arms into the crossed position, harrumphed loud enough to wake the dead, then stomped off towards her room.

“I will not dignify that with a response,” I told the Wife. She harrumphed in agreement. I smiled inside.

As it turned out, the lass never went to her room. Instead, arms still folded and a scowl etched into her face she stalked back into the kitchen. She made the grunting noise she typically does when she’s upset.

Still, we ignored her.

She then picked up her brother’s inflatable bat that he’d won at the fair yesterday and started futzing with it. I told her to stop, since it wasn’t her bat. Finally having received some attention, she looked at me and said “I’m not having that.” She also put the bat down.

We didn’t respond to that either.

By this point, the boy was wolfing down his 4th or 5th pancake, along with some strips of bacon. The Wife had several more pancakes cooked up and ready to go. The lass moved in and sat at the breakfast bar. She told us “I didn’t want blueberry pancakes, I wanted potato pancakes.”

Still, the Wife and I ignored her.

After several more seconds, during which I snorked a couple pieces of bacon and the boy continued to destroy pancakes and the Wife continued cooking up more pancakes, she got down from her stool and stalked around to where the Wife was. She not-so-delicately inserted herself into the area and said “What, am I supposed to eat these without syrup or something?”

The audacity of 6, in all it’s glory.

The Wife informed her that the pile of pancakes the lass had taken were for anyone who wanted them, so nothing had been done to them. If the lass wanted some of them, she was welcome to her own plate and to prepare the pancakes however she’d like.

Without another word, the lass prepared herself a plate of pancakes. Then, quietly, went back to her seat on the breakfast bar.

She ate, without further complaint.

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Family

The Kids Rough House

So the boy and the lass are rough housing on the floor for awhile. They’ve got some kind of game going involving the dogs and trying to keep each other from touching the dogs, or something like that.

When they rough house like that, the same thing happens every time: someone gets dinged. Ninety percent of the time, it’s the lass. Though every now and again the boy will smack his head on something.

Time was when I, or the Wife, would warn them off that something would happen. We’ve long since given up on that because it’s easier to talk a wall down than get them to listen. It never did anything that frustrate us anyway. I’ve even begun rationalizing that it’s good to let them suffer the consequences of their actions, whatever they might be.

So today, when I heard the whine start from the lass, I knew that it was just about over. The boy hadn’t caught on yet and was still hauling on her. But when he finally let go, she got up and continued her pre-tear ritual and came running up to me. I was dealing with laundry at the time.

“Dad, I…” was all she got out before I cut her off without looking at her.

“Unless it’s bleeding or broken, I don’t want to hear about it,” I stated flatly. I wasn’t going to play referee or scold the boy when 10 seconds earlier they were both giving and getting consensually.

She hovered there for a few seconds, then the boy came over and started hauling on her again. The game was back on.

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Family

Duck!

Sometimes, parenting it blissfully easy.

I spent the late afternoon spreading the remainder of the river rock. The kids, once again, attempted to aid me. They were somewhat less enthusiastic than on Friday. Not surprising since this time they knew what they were in for.

So anyway, while I’m loading up another bucket with rock, I hear the boy tell the lass “Duck!”

So I glance over and the boy is standing on the edge of the area where the rock has been spread with a bucket that appears to be mostly empty. He’s holding the bucket by the blue handle with his right hand.

The lass is standing out in the area where the rock has been spread. She just dumped a bucketful of rocks and was heading back to either look like she was loading another bucket, or give it that old 6-year-old try.

“Duck!” the boy said again, and then he kind of flung the bucket up and out. There was a little rock still in it. Rather than reach in with his other hand and remove it, he was trying to launch it from the bucket. Fortunately, the bucket was spinning wildly on the handle pivots and the rock didn’t go anywhere.

As he loaded for a second try, no doubt more attuned to keeping the bucket from spinning around as he flung it, I said simply “That’s a really bad idea.”

The boy looked over at me for a moment. I stood there, one hand on the shovel, sweating and tired, and looked back at him silently.

He reached into the bucket, pulled the stone out and dropped it onto the other stones. Then, he returned to loading his bucket.

And that’s how an emergency trip to the dentist was avoided today.

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Family

Sleeping Weather

The kids slept 12 hours last night, neither of them getting up until after 8 o’clock. Which makes complete sense when factoring in that school starts next week and they’ll have to be up around 6:30 in order to have time to get ready. It makes even more sense when considering they haven’t slept past 7 all Summer long.

I’m not ready to say the Summer is over, but the cooler, dryer nights are definitely a welcome change.

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Family

There’s No Figuring Them Out

My latest landscaping project involves a patch of our yard that we haven’t known what to do with for awhile. It’s a small area on the north side of the house, so it doesn’t get much Sun. Thus, not much grass grows there. But weeds grow there just fine. It also gets beat up quite a bit as all our cord wood is stacked in that area as well. For the most part, in the Summer it’s a weedy mess and the rest of the year it’s a muddy mess.

So I finally decided to act to improve it. Yesterday, I laid down about 600 square feet of weed cloth, after weed whacking the snot out of the entire area. I also cleaned it all up from the shards of wood and various other things that had collected there over time. I spent the afternoon getting the area prepped and then most of this morning putting a rock wall edging in place.

All of that was in preparation for today when, this afternoon, 4 tons of large river rock was dropped in our driveway. The rocks are all smooth and round and vary in size from large golf balls to squished baseballs. I had originally hoped the driver would be able to drop the stone over the edge of our driveway onto the destination patch of yard. That way the remainder of the project would be spreading stone instead of hauling stone.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way and now I’m hauling stone.

Surprisingly, the boy and the lass decided to pitch in and help. So we all worked together scooping stones into buckets. I scooped stone into a two-and-a-half gallon bucket; the boy scooped stone into a large beach bucket and the lass scooped stone into a small beach bucket. Each bucket appropriately sized for it’s user. I used a square shovel to fill the bucket, the boy used a smaller spade shovel, and the lass used a plastic beach shovel.

I kid you not.

The shovels didn’t last long for the kids though. After it started getting difficult, they decided the best thing was to sit on top of the pile of stone and fill their respective buckets by hand. This arrangement also afforded them with plenty of opportunity for messing with each other. One would make a cave, and then the other would sabotage the work by causing a collapse. Every now and again, a bucket would get filled and they would dutifully go and dump it in the yard.

They worked like that alongside me for the better part of 2 hours. It was fine by me because I was so exhausted after a bit of hauling that I could care less if they started throwing rocks at one another. As long as the rocks eventually ended up where they were supposed to, it was fine by me; and that many fewer I had to deal with.

They both quit before I did, washing themselves off with the hose before going to cool off in the pool for a bit. I just found it remarkable because we have a hard enough time getting them to clean up their dishes after a meal. Yet here they voluntarily were hauling stone.

The mind boggles.

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Family

How to Make Your Child More Obnoxious

Simple, have one of their friends over for a visit. Even better, make it a sleep over.

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Family

Two Weeks

Driving home in the car this morning, the boy asked “Dad, does school start next week?”

“No, it starts in two weeks,” I answered.

Way back when I was still in school, there was a commercial that started with the song It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. It then showed a picture of a parent gliding on a grocery cart down the aisle of the store. The aisle was filled with notebooks and pens and pencils. Well after the parent sailed off the screen, the two kids came trudging along behind him, their faces downcast and sullen.

I was old enough back then to get a chuckle out of it. When I confirmed that school was starting soon, both the boy and the lass immediately assumed the same demeanor as the kids in that commercial.

I got a chuckle out of that too.

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Family

The Lass Rides- Finally

The lass achieved the childhood milestone of learning to ride a bike this morning.

It was particularly sweet because she’d been pretty discouraged about bike riding because she just hasn’t been able to figure it out. The Wife and I have been trying to motivate her in various ways. The Wife, in particular, has been taking the boy on rides at a local bike path to try and give the lass something to shoot for.

This morning, for a change, we all went to the bike path and the Wife volunteered to stay with the lass and work with her while I went on the path with the boy. My ride with the boy was nice, if not a little wet. It poured for about 10 minutes half-way through the ride, soaking us both thoroughly. It didn’t bother the boy and we finished the ride without any incident.

When we got back, it looked like the lass was close to figuring out the whole riding thing. She was gliding around with her feet off the pedals and just out to the side. She was pretty wobbly, but there was a hint that she might be on the verge of a breakthrough.

Rather than stopping and possibly pressuring her, I continued on the path past where the Wife was working with her. I hadn’t gone far when I heard the Wife let out a “WAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” That’s pretty much the universal parent word for “My kid just figured it out!”

When I got back, sure enough, the lass was wobbling along. She was having a little trouble starting and the rain had slicked her shoes so she was also having some trouble keeping her feet on the pedals. But there was no denying that she was in fact riding a bike.

Now, she can hardly wait for the next time Mom goes for a ride on the bike path. It won’t be just the boy going along anymore.

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Family

Going to Bed on a Good Note

The boy has an unfortunate short between his brain and his mouth. It’s most evident with regards to his sister. He never misses a chance to zing her, whether necessary or not. More worrisome, it’s also there for the Wife or myself.

This morning, particular, was difficult for him because of it. The Wife and I both have pretty much had it. We’ve been warning him for awhile now that he needs to watch what he says and when he says it, repeatedly giving the age old advice “If you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” So far, he has shown little indication of taking that advice to heart.

So when he popped off this morning, making an unprovoked and disrespectful comment to his sister, I had him kneel in the corner for awhile. The corner is tough when you’ve got knee caps, especially on hardwood. Be that as it may, shortly after he was done there, he got sent back because he made comments to his Mother.

This time, after he was released, I explained to him that the Wife and I will not allow him or his sister to disrespect us like that with his comments. I also explained that he’s older now and smarter and understands a lot more. Therefore, he has to learn to exercise better judgment where his mouth is concerned. The Wife had a similar talk with him during the day.

Fast forward to bed time, where I’m saying my “Goodnight” to him. Unprovoked, he apologized for his comments and attitude during the morning. It was a nice surprise, and I told him “It’s OK to make mistakes, but it’s up to your Mom and I to point them out, and up to you to fix them.” He apologized to the Wife as well.

Moments like that at least give the hope that he’ll turn out alright.

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Family

The Chicken Whisperer

One of the new features at the Sister’s place is the chicken coup. They’ve started their own farm of sorts and the chickens were as logical a place to start as any I suppose.

So they showed the boy and the lass the chickens and even let them check for any new eggs. Alas, no eggs.

The first time, anyway.

Over the course of the day, the boy returned to the chicken coup several times, always unbidden by his aunt and his uncle. He just wanted to check because he was pretty sure those chickens were busy while they were gone.

Each time, he came back with a reward for his efforts. Much to the surprise of all the adults present, whom, in our infinite wisdom, were quite sure his efforts would be in vain. I guess there’s something to be said for persistence.

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Family

Playing With Arrows

We spent the day visiting with the sister and the brother-in-law yesterday. Our kids and the niece and the nephew get along real well, despite minor age differences, so we like to get them together. The kids ended up spending the night sleeping over at their cousin’s place, so it was something different for everyone. The sister and brother-in-law got the short end of the stick this time around. We’ll repay the favor some other time.

The boy is a bit older than both cousins, plus the older one is the niece. This makes for moments where the boy feels a bit estranged from the group due to age and gender dynamics. So his uncle pulled out some big boy toys for him to try: his bow and arrows.

The bow was a recurve bow that was sized appropriately for someone the boy’s size. His uncle setup a target, gave him some instruction and let him take a bunch of shots. The boy has actually expressed interest in having a bow and arrow, so it was a chance for us to gauge whether to pursue it further or not.

In the meantime, the nephew, who is 3, came along for the ride to see what was going on with his Dad’s bows. He watched his cousin shooting the bow and arrow and got the funny notion in his mind that he could do that too. So he made his wishes known “Daddy, I wanna play with arrow.” There was extra emphasis on the “arrow.”

So for the next 15 minutes, while my brother-in-law worked with the boy, the nephew kept making his wishes known, “Daddy, I wanna play with arrow.” His Dad kept gently telling him he was to wait.

“I know buddy,” he’d answer.

Several seconds later, “Daddy, I wanna play with arrow.”

“Hang on, I’m working with your cousin.”

Several seconds later, “Daddy, I wanna play with arrow.”

Things went this way for the better part of 20 minutes. The brother-in-law, whose been “playing with arrows” since he was a kid, did a quick demonstration with his compound bow as well. But after every shot, we’d get “Daddy, I wanna play with arrow.” The Wife and I and my sister were all laughing because the request was so regular and expressed in the exact same tone every time. The brother-in-law, for his part, weathered it with good humor.

I should note that the nephew is about the same size as the bow the boy was using. So there was a bit of a physical issue with him being able to shoot the bow and arrow. Not that he cared.

Finally, when everyone was done, the nephew got his wish. The brother-in-law stooped down next to him and helped him use the bow and arrow. He was setup about 4 feet from the target and his Dad would nock the arrow, then help him hold and aim. The nephew would pull the string back and shoot the arrow.

Which just goes to show, it never hurts to ask. Repeatedly, if necessary.

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Family

Camps Are Over!

This was the Summer of Camps for the kids. While we were away in Greece, they went to a Y-based day camp for a week to keep the preoccupied. Then, shortly after we returned, the boy had his Scout Camp. Finally, for the passed 2 weeks, they’ve been attending a swimming camp.

Of the bunch, the swim camp has been the biggest pain because it’s an hour in the middle of the day in a remote location in the next town. Every day, right after lunch. While it wasn’t all bad, it pretty much precluded much of anything else getting done during the day. In all three cases; however, the kids were ready for the camp to end. Regardless of whether they enjoyed it, it’s an intrusion on their time and they’ll only tolerate it so far.

But today was the final day of the camp, which means the kids can return to their normal bickering over what cartoon to watch on Netflix in the morning. Oh, and whining that they never get to play the DS. And that they are bored.

The start of the school year seems so far away.

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Family

The Know It All

If I was asked to succinctly describe the boy right now, I’d say that he knows everything.

I always expected him to get to this stage, but it can get to be a bit much dealing with an 8-year-old know-it-all. He becomes darn near insufferable, especially when he resorts to extreme pedantry to be right. It’s like he has to be right.

It also makes some of the worst moments when he actually is right. It makes him that much more difficult for the next time. And right now, there is always a next time.

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Family

Call BS When Warranted

I’m sitting here reading some email and the boy asks me his favorite question:

“Can I play the DS?”

Now, his Grandfather is visiting and we’ll be leaving in about 5 or 10 minutes for his swimming lesson. Plus, he and his sister have played a lot of video games this Summer because we’ve relaxed the rules for their Summer. So I told him “No.”

He then, with all the earnestness of man whose just crossed the desert being denied a drink of water, asked me “How come you never let us play the DS?”

It’s too bad I can’t do animations adequately, because the arc my neck traced from my computer screen as I shifted focus to the boy has to be something out of a Looney Tune. The exaggerated motion had the desired effect, because the boy knew his error even before I spoke.

“Are you really going to sit there and claim you never play the DS?”

“Nevermind,” he muttered as he raised the white flag.

If only all the battles could be won so easily.

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Family

More Monopoly

The boy’s enthusiasm for the game in running high. I played with him and his sister this morning and won. Shockingly, he didn’t like losing to me at all and was quick to point out that I hadn’t beat him one-on-one yet. Rationalization is the opiate of a young ego.

He then played his sister in a game later in the day and saw fit to give her all sorts of advice on what she should and shouldn’t do. After the half-dozen games he’s played, he’s already an expert. The lass has been a good sport with the game, to her credit. She isn’t quite old enough to grasp the game completely, but with a little math help she’s quite able to play.

I suppose I should also mention I downloaded the app for my Nook Tablet. The game itself is well done and all the things possible in a normal game seem to be possible in the app. Including cheating- there’s a game option that allows for 3 different “sleight of hand” moves for shorting someone on rent, gaining an extra space during game play and something else that escapes me. It’s fun to play, although I dislike the AI decision making where trades are concerned- it’s clearly skewed towards a speedy game, as opposed to making intelligent trades.

Perhaps we’ll end up with a Monopoly night or something, before it’s all over.

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Family

Monopoly

So far, it’s the boy 2, Dad 0 in Monopoly games. He’s clobbered me both times. I think we need to get a 3rd player involved to make the games a little more interesting.

And cheaper.

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Family

Reassurance

The lass made a strange request of the Wife tonight. The lass asked her to help her brush her teeth. She was afraid of missing some spots, I heard her explain.

If her regular visits for cleaning are any indication, the lass has done splendidly in maintaining her teeth. She has no cavities and no warning signs resulting from neglect.

The question was one of a variety I’ve noticed the kids ask every now and again. They will ask for help with some personal thing or a chore that we all know full well they are competent at. Almost like they want to temporarily revert to an earlier age when we had to help them.

As to motivation, I can imagine any one of a number of possibilities including hoping to get away with a freebie, too tired to want to bother, or some form of reassurance. Though, typically, the question is stated with just the right combination of earnestness and innocence that I get the very strong impression that it’s about reassurance.

The Wife didn’t help her, and gently told her that she was perfectly capable. That’s how we typically deal with the sort of question when it comes around. The lass, for her part, didn’t argue the point and finished brushing her teeth on her own.

I don’t have any real insights regarding the behavior. More than anything, I’ve noticed it enough times now that I thought it worth jotting down. Perhaps it’s an act we all do throughout our lives, hoping someone else will take care of something for us despite our own capacity for handling it. Perhaps that’s a difference between adults and children- one knows the answer without having to be told. The other one just wants to make sure.

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Family

Nintendo DS- Bane of My Parental Existence

The one question is get asked more than any other is “Can I play my DS?” Both the boy and the lass take part in this several-times-a-day ritual.

During the school year, life was much easier regarding DS time. It was only for the weekends. That was it. Every now and again, as a treat during a snow day or some other day-off-from-school they’d be allowed to play their DS for awhile. Even that came with a penalty, since once that seal was broken they would immediately hound us the nest time a day off presented itself.

“You let us play the DS last time we had a day off, so why not this time?”

Because your presumptuousness annoys me, that’s why.

This Summer, the Wife and I have deliberately backed off of our DS regulations. We figured giving them time to do things their way was a good chance for them to decompress from the restrictions of the school year. We didn’t realize how fully they would leverage the opportunity. Dare I say, abuse the opportunity.

Everything is, of course, hunky-dory when I tell them “Yes.” The problems start when I decline to let them play.

“Why?”

What do you mean “Why?” You’ve been allowed to play it more in the last month than the entire school year combined. If it wasn’t for camp or swim lessons, it’s probably all you’d do.

“Is it because I didn’t empty the dishwasher when you asked?”

They’re searching for some kind of direct cause-and-effect. It’s annoying. It doesn’t seem to cross their minds that the only reason is a whim. That it’s been judged they’ve spent enough time in front of little screens and they should try something else like drawing, a board game, reading or something else entirely.

“But I’ve already read a comic book.”

Time for the heavy artillery: “Would you like me to take it away for the rest of the Summer?”

Pause.

“No.”

Well, then case closed.

Until the next time.