A Stay At Home Dad

It was a nice little ceremony. The boy is in one of 3 kindergarten classes. One of the classes made a movie called “Dirty Blonde and the Ever Increasing Zombies.” At least, I think that’s it. I could be off be a word or two. Upon first seeing the title, I mentioned to the teacher that I was pretty sure the minimal rating for a movie whose title had the word “zombie” in it was ‘R.’ I was assured that not only was it quite ‘G’ rated, but also totally not scary.

I suppose if you ignore the fact that it starred 5 year old actors working on a shoe string budget, then yeah, it wasn’t scary.

The movie was very entertaining. The boy’s class did not make the movie though. His class had a slide show with pictures from throughout the year. It was funny to see pictures of him without his front teeth- that seems SOOOOO long ago now. Anyway, slide shows are generally pretty fun and this one was no exception. The music was well chosen.

Then came the big moment- when they got their name called, were handed their diploma and walked across the bridge, waved to the parents, and then went to sit and wait for chow time. This spectacle provided plenty of amusing moments. Several kids had stage fright- including one of our T-baller’s (one whom I wouldn’t have pegged as susceptible to stage fright). A few others showed off their moxy- blowing kisses to the crowd and the like. One was completely confused- he couldn’t figure out which hand to shake with, then he forgot, then remembered, then dropped his diploma, walked half-way across the bridge and decided that was a good time to stop and see the sights for awhile, then went back to get his diploma and finally crossed the bridge. All of this done in that oblivious, moment-to-moment sequencing that 5 year olds are accomplished at. He was the hit of the night. The boy, for his part, played his part with dignity- walking across the bridge, smiling to Mom, and then walked off to his seat. No muss, no fuss.

Then it was chow time, which led to the big disappointment of the night. All of my stromboli was eaten. Not even a crumb left. Maybe I’ll make 4 next year when he graduates from first grade…

Technically, it was yesterday I suppose. The boy’s last 3 days of school. Tonight he “graduates” from kindergarten. I get to make a main dish of some sort for a kindergarten party. Should be a good time for all.

At this point, after a fair amount of gnashing our teeth, the Wife and I have basically mapped out the summer. It’s actually more difficult than it might at first seem. As the kids get older they’re capable of more and figuring out what “more” is directly affects the schedule. At the same time, it’s the summer and I think we’re both on the same page where we think the kids should be allowed a fair amount of latitude. They just spent 9+ months on a pretty restrictive schedule, time to let them decompress.

The lass will continue with her dance lessons, but with a different teacher at a dance school. We’ve lucked out in the regard that her first teacher has emphasized keeping it fun while teaching her kids the rudiments of dance. The new teacher looks like she’ll build on top of that while still keeping it fun. It’s a once a week thing. She also offers a camp sort of program where, for one week, she takes the kids for the morning and does projects and incorporates dance into it. The lass seems to truly enjoy dancing so we’ll continue encouraging her in that endeavor.

The boy will continue with his MA lessons. Anywhere from 2 to 3 times a week. He’s enjoyed them so far and the meta lessons that MA offers are compelling enough that it’ll be worth it to keep him at it for awhile. Last night he discovered that a friend of his from school is in his class, so now he has more motivation to stick with it.

Dropped from the schedule are the swimming lessons at the Y. Because of their difference in abilities, there was no easy way to get them both into classes that fit well schedule-wise with the afore mentioned activities. The closest would have been to commit to Friday night at the Y for about 3-1/2 hours. We really wanted to keep up the lessons, but ultimately decided that it wasn’t worth the cost to our sanity as well as stretching the kids thin. By the time camps, vacations, weekends and day-trips are figured into the equation, they’ll have plenty to occupy their time, as will the Wife and I.

So Summer, ready or not- here we come!

I didn’t think to mention this at the time, or perhaps I did but in the euphoria of the moment I neglected to follow-through, whatever; the lass “graduated” from her pre-K class last week. Friday morning to be more precise.

It was a nice little ceremony thingy. The kids got books that highlighted some of their handiwork from the school year: drawings, projects and the like. There were pictures as well. They “sang” (screamed…obliterated?) a couple of songs as well.

Leaving aside that this was a pre-K class that they were graduating from; I’ll also note that she will be returning to this exact same class next year. Presumably, she’ll graduate from that class as well.

I could launch into a diatribe of sorts about the absurdity of graduating from pre-K classes and the like. The boy will be having a “graduation” from Kindergarten next week where he’ll walk across a “bridge” in the gym symbolizing his journey from one side of the gym to the other… Alas, these are the times we live in and making a stink out it doesn’t accomplish much.

I reckon the best thing to do is to make them aware that bigger, better and more important moments await them.

The boy’s friend hit the ball well off the tee and it made a gentle arc through the air towards the gap between the first and second basemen. On any other night, the ball would have completed it’s journey back to earth and continued rolling to the fence. A couple of kids would have chased it down and fought over who could throw it back. His friend would run the bases and that would be the end of it.

But on this night, the boy was playing at second base. Inexplicably, he moved toward the ball and began sticking his glove out. He watched the ball and, as it fell, he adjusted his glove down. When the ball hit his glove, it was down around his shins and his arm was fully extended. The ball popped up out of his glove briefly. The boy held firm, maintaining his balance and keeping his glove open and the ball quietly fell into place. He stopped and stood up.

All the parents watching in the stands cheered for him. All the coaches cheered for him. I heard one parent yell “Holy cow! That looked like baseball!”

7 practices, 4 games, 1 catch.

Said the boy: “Dad, scientists were the first people on earth.”

Me: “Why’s that?”

the boy: “Because they had to discover the dinosaur bones before the other people who aren’t scientists.”

Personally, I’m having trouble making sense of that. Perhaps I have to be 6 again to understand.

On the way home from swim lessons last night, we were trying to decide what to do about dinner. The kids started getting antsy about their propositions and, frankly, more than a little annoying and pushy. So I decided to grab the bull by the horns, so to speak:

“What’s food do you hate most?” I asked the lass. She replied peppers; so I told them we were going to a restaurant that served peppers for dinner. The Wife laughed, the lass didn’t.

Next to play- the boy.

His first reply was “I’m not going to tell you because then that’s where you’ll take us. Besides, you already know what I don’t like.” Which is true- inexplicably he hates pasta. Possibly the only child on earth who hates pasta.

Then, he said “Dad, I hate hamburgers.”

Now, it was my turn to laugh. If there’s one food he enjoys more than anything in this world, it’s hamburgers. He is a miniaturized Wimpy- he’d gladly trade a hamburger from tomorrow for a hamburger today. Or something like that.

So what did they end up eating? The lass had a hamburger. The boy had… half a tuna-fish sandwich with New England chowder.

Go figure.