Well, that’s what it feels like anyway.
At approximately 1AM this morning, the boy and the lass both were sick. Again. Thus, killing any chance for them to go skiing today. We were all looking forward to going today, even the boy whom initially dreaded the idea way back when he was first told.
Not really sure what the rest of the day will hold at this point. I’d been trying to avoid the sentiment, but at this point I’m ready for “vacation” to end. I’ve had enough.
Well, last night the lass broke out with a rash and complained about being itchy all over. She also yakked shortly after lunch and her first dose of the new medication (For those counting, that’s 5 straight days with puke. Awesome sauce.) The Wife did some research and determined there was a decent chance she was allergic to the meds. There is good news in that the meds are helping with her other symptoms.
Too bad she’s gained the others.
So back to the doctor today. He agreed that circumstances were suspicious and switched her to another medication. Part of the rash is normal for strep throat, if I understand everything correctly, but the doctor didn’t want to take chances with the New Year holiday coming up in a couple of days.
So another trip to the pharmacy and we’ll see what comes next.
Christmas vacation just doesn’t get any better than this.
OH! The alliteration!
I figured I should at least mark the Blizzard of 2010 with some kind of note. Truthfully, it ended up fairly un-noteworthy in these here parts. We were told 12 to 18 with the strong implication they were low-balling that estimate. In the end, I’ll say we got about 8 and I think I’m being a bit generous.
Last year’s big December “Winter Storm” dumped about 14″ or so on us, but the “Blizzard” dumped considerably less. I will say that it seemed to live up to it’s billing as a technical blizzard- we had the high winds and minimal visibility associated with the term. But, at least here, it didn’t live up to the spirit of the term. It certainly was no Blizzard of ’78. Seems like further South and West got the more impressive amounts. Go figure.
With the benefit of hindsight, it is now clear that our Christmas 2010 odyssey really only began on Christmas Eve with the boy playing in the Puke Bowl. Since then, several more family members have been swept up in it’s wake. And just when we thought it was all done, we’ve had a nice little “not so fast, we’re not done with you yet” thrown into the mix.
The rest after the jump- but only for those with strong stomachs.
My favorite lines from A Christmas Story, in no particular order:
Ralphie’s Dad: You used all the glue- ON PURPOSE!!
(I know I said no order, but this one is hands down my favorite.)
Ralphie as an Adult: Randy lay there like a slug; it was his only defense.
Ralphie as an Adult: Only I didn’t say “fudge,” I said The Word; the Queen Mother of all dirty words; the ‘F’, dash, dash, dash word.
Ralphie as an Adult: When Scott Farkus said anything to you, it made you feel warm and good inside. Normally, he just punched you in the mouth.
Ralphie’s Dad: NOTTA FINGAH!!!
Ralphie’s Dad: FRA-JEE-LAY…Oh- must be Italian.
Ralphie’s Mom: That says “FRAGILE” Frank.
Ralphie’s Dad: Oh yeah, right.
(Alright, it’s not a “line.” But it makes me laugh just thinking it.)
Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple-dare and going straight for the throat!
Waiters at Chinese Restaurant: FA-RA-RA-RA-RA, RA-RA, RA, RA!
Ralphie’s Dad: It’s, um, smiling at me.
(This line isn’t funny by itself, but followed by the head chef chopping the goose’s head off right there on the table… Well, let’s just say it strains bladder control.)
Ralphie as an Adult: Adults love to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.
Ralphie’s Dad: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.
Ralphie’s Mom: He does not!
Ralphie’s Dad: He does TOO! He looks like a pink nightmare!
Ralphie’s Brother: I can’t put my arms down!
Ralphie’s Mom: You can put your arms down when you get to school.
Not exhaustive. I’ve deliberately left out setting descriptions because they are all etched into my memory. If you can’t remember them, then you clearly haven’t watched the movie enough yet!
The presents are all opened and the cooking has begun. The boy’s favorite gift at this point is his Nintendo DS, while the lass’ seems to be her Mobigo. Neither has really plumbed the depths of their presents at this point; but the day is early.
The boy had a rough night. As in throwing up at 15 minute intervals, which turned into dry heaves at half-hour, then 1 hour intervals with a final desperate dash for the toilet at 4AM. Only then did he finally start to feel better.
As miserable a time as it was for him, he never lost sight of the night’s goal. He opined at several points, while hunched over the porcelain-food-recycler, that Santa probably wouldn’t be coming since he couldn’t sleep. We told him that all Santa needed was a few minutes. During his last trip to the bathroom, I went downstairs to tend the fire. Upon returning his first question was if Santa had come. I smiled and nodded my head. He returned the smile with one of his own.
Then we all(the Wife, myself and the boy) all went back to bed to catch a few more minutes sleep.
Ahhh Christmas. Good times. Good times.
‘Tis the Day Before Christmas, and it’s safe to say;
The Children all wish ’twere night, not day.
The stockings are hung by the chimney with care,
and they all remain really quite bare!
The Children are restless and running about,
waiting for Santa to remove all their doubt.
The Wife has relaxed and lain down on the couch,
attempting to take a Christmas Eve slouch.
Meals all planned, the house cleaned with care,
anticipating company soon to be there.
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the basement to see what was the matter!
‘Twas just the dogs, barking at the neighbor;
Guess I shouldn’t expect from them any favor.
So back to the basement and the computer below,
to find that the children have struck their own blow!
Their restlessness reached a cathartic crescendo,
Resulting in messes from end, OH! to end OH!
So gritting my teeth, a grim look on my face,
I set them about cleaning up the whole place.
For the Shelf Elf was watching amidst all their grime,
Ready to report to Santa one last time.
And after weathering all of their bluster,
The Wife and I agreed their efforts passed muster.
So away they both went, looking for entertainment,
while I wondered about some kind of containment.
Soon nightfall will be here, though not soon enough,
And they will begin to get some of their stuff.
Then after dinner, perhaps one last cartoon,
For tomorrow we’ll be watching “A Chrismas Story” at noon.
And then off to bed, on this most anticipated night,
Hoping their Christmas dreams will take flight.
As for the Wife and I, it will be with great gusto
That we attempt to arrange all the presents just so.
But not before both kids are asleep,
Even then we can only barely make a peep!
Then, finally, a night of sleep for ourselves,
Having played the part of Santa and his elves.
And with that, I think it’s time to say,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Day!
Via Deadspin, this is worth the 60 seconds to read through.
I am thankful for the bees and trees and sun and rain and the food to eat.
The Wife particularly was struck by it. Seems pretty good to me as well.
The boy and most of his den-mates were awarded their Bobcat Badges tonight at the monthly pack meeting. The hardest part was the waiting as there was a presentation by the local CERT team- including showing off a couple of police dogs.
But it’s official now. Being a Cub Scout, that is. Congrats to him and his buddies. They earned it.
The boy came home with another Christmas project today. His class made a reindeer using a cutout of their footprint for the head and using cutouts of their handprint for the antlers. The boy finished his reindeer off with two different sized googly eyes, and a blue nose.
I asked him if it was “Bruno the Blue nosed reindeer” but the boy said he didn’t have a name for it. Then he said “Just because Rudolph is famous, everyone thinks you’re supposed to copy him. But you can make any kind of reindeer, right?”
I love the unquestioned existence of Rudolph in his statement.
Just a bunch of stray thoughts:
Rather than increase the length of the regular season, the NFL should change the playoff format to the following: a winning record gets you in the playoffs; top two seeds by record get a bye week. Break-even teams shouldn’t be in the playoffs, even as a division winner. Especially when there are better teams elsewhere in the conference.
As well as the Pats are playing right now, I just don’t think they’ll make it to the Super Bowl. I’ve been wrong 3 times before about them, so I won’t be surprised if they make a fool of me again. But still, their defense is a liability and Brady and the offense can only bail them out so many times.
When will Brady’s luck run out on tipped balls hitting the turf instead of being intercepted?
I still think the Saints are the team to beat in the NFC. But we’ll find out more after this weekend’s game against the Falcons. Of course, if Brees doesn’t stop throwing picks, they won’t go far in the playoffs.
The gushing, over-the-top, he’s-a–God-in-mortal-form praise for Michael Vick is getting a bit nauseating. See Peter King for the latest in this genre. I’m also starting to think his new image is more a product of PR than actual change and remorse about his past actions. The media licking his cleats doesn’t help at all.
What happened to the Cowboy defense this year? Two options: they were playing beyond their ability the past couple of years or offensive coordinators have finally figured them out. I’m thinking the latter.
I think if the Chargers get into the playoffs, they’re the team to beat in the AFC. If not, then I have this annoying, niggling notion about the Steeler’s chances.
I think Tom Coughlin is done with the Giants. Further, I think the Giants are done this year. Losses like that don’t go away. I think criticism of Coughlin for the onside-kick is over the top. Not having his hands team is perfectly defensible- the players are supposed to make sure the kick is away. That one is on the players.
It’s not often this happens, but I must confess to a grave mistake on my part.
For many months now, we have been acting to thwart the boy in his attempts to get his mitts on a Nerf Blaster (no links- just search on it, you’ll get the idea quick). We were at last undone by another parent, who decided to throw her son a Nerf Blaster party. She works at a local private school and had unfettered access to the school’s student center. All three floors. For about 20 boys ages 6 to 10 or so.
So we had to relent and get the boy his Nerf Blaster. Still, we resisted and didn’t present him with it until a couple of hours before the party.
It was easily one of the most fun birthday parties the kids have had. There was only about 20,000 square feet available to them, with stairs and couches and table and chairs. The party lasted about 2 hours and they ran around for all but the 15 minute break to eat a little bit of cake (which the Birthday Boy’s Mother baked and decorated like a Nerf Dart.)
The most humiliating part was admitting how much fun it was for the adults. There were some spare guns around, so a number of us spiced things up by shooting at the kids from above. Yes- a guilty pleasure.
I’ve since played with the boy’s gun on a number of occasions, just because it’s fun. Maybe Santa will bring me one as well…
At the skating rink tonight, I found a penny a presented it to the lass. She then asked me where I found it. I pointed to a spot on the floor and then told her:
“You know what? You’ll ALWAYS find pennies on the ground?”
She looked up at me, her eyes wide, and asked “Why?”
I smiled, looked her straight in the eye and told her:
“Because pennies don’t float.”
The Wife just closed her eyes and put her head in her hands.
The Wife comes up to me the morning at the hockey rink and says “Guess what your daughter did this morning?”
I hate that question. For one, I never guess the right answer. Very annoying. Second, the answer is 100% guaranteed to involve some type of transgression that attains new levels of egregiousness. So after preparing myself, I shook my head and asked what happened.
The lass had pushed dog #1 down the stairs. Most importantly, everyone was basically OK. The dog was traumatized more by the scolding the Wife meted out to the lass than by the ride down the stairs. She (the dog) is unhurt with no limping.
The lass should be so lucky. Actually, she was lucky I wasn’t there to witness the act. While I have improved in controlling my temper tremendously during my parenthood, I regret to say that wanton cruelty to our animals still sets me off.
Tom Maguire has two good stories about football players in the news. In this case, they’re making news for noble reasons. So, naturally, they aren’t getting as much attention as their actions warrant. SI had a short blurb on one of them, but that’s all I could find related to either player.
Too bad these sorts of things can’t get the same attention that the more sensational stuff gets. Kudos to Tom for spotting these stories and offering them a little focus.
Here’s the latest on the Jets tripping incident, courtesy Mike Florio.
Florio is jumping through all kinds of hoops to make this into some kind of sinister plot by the Jets. Rex Ryan had to know Florio insists. So did the special teams coach. So did Jet’s ownership. And the mascot. He even goes so far as to paint the elaborate procedure the Jet’s will go through if they actually have to fire the strength coach Alosi, who did the tripping.
But here’s the 500 pound gorilla. Even if they did line up on the sideline, if Alosi doesn’t stick his knee out and trip the guy, it’s a complete non-event. I’ll bet Florio doesn’t even notice the alignment without the trip. So the entire issue is the poor judgement of 1 guy- Alosi. Who cares how people lineup on the sideline. Does the NFL really need another obscure rule governing to enforce? One that would likely be unevenly enforced to begin with and almost surely subject to tremendous variance in interpretation by game officials?
Florio needs to find something else to yammer about. Alosi tripped the player and was caught. That will go a lot farther towards making sure it doesn’t happen again than anything Florio might want to happen.
I was able to really capitalize on my Pandora subscription.
That stupid, insipid song The Christmas Shoes started to play on a Christmas station that the Wife had created. I banned it from the station before it got to the second note. I’ll be equally diligent with any other versions of that song the server tries to slip in.
Totally made paying for the Pandora One subscription worth it. In fact, the prospect that I can escape a Christmas without having to listen to that stupid shop owner get conned by the little kid over a pair of Christmas pumps makes me all “tingly” inside. Oh, and after the kid got those shoes off of that shop owner, he went down the street and scored some candy canes from the shop down the road for his “sick sister.” Then he went to the corner, lit up a cigarette and had himself a good laugh. That’s in the unrated version of the song.
Anyway, now I can have a Merry Christmas.
…I want to get off.
The story actually gets interesting because the individual bringing the lawsuit is a “vegetable activist.” Meaning when she’s not suing McDonald’s over her inability to say “No” to her child, she’s busy telling everyone else what they should be eating. Obviously, telling people what to do is not the issue with this person.
Having taken the kids to each of the fast food restaurants, I can say that it isn’t exactly easy, believe it or not. Both kids are actually willing to sacrifice food quantity and remain hungry for the chance to get a toy in a happy meal. Both kids, given the opportunity, will actively campaign to go to a “restaurant that gives out toys.” Oh, and the Wife and I almost always force them to get apple or orange slices with the meal.
Which is why children don’t run things, and why any sane parent quickly builds a thick hide where their kid’s politicking is concerned. They will politic for whatever whim presents itself at the slightest provocation; and do so with a gusto that would make any rabid sports fan envious. Telling them “No” becomes easy with practice. If done enough, the kids eventually start to filter their desires themselves because they assume the answer- a plus for parental sanity. But a parent has to be willing to deny their little cherub its heart’s desire in the first place.
If this woman wants to teach anyone anything, she should start with her child and by telling her “No- you cannot have a Happy Meal.” It’s gotta be cheaper than the lawsuit, at least.
Actually, Radley Balko asks a series of questions for Lefties. A good quick read for anyone I’d say. Via Instapundit.
I don’t expect many will answer that question honestly. It cuts to close. But I also think a lot of Republicans and capitalists would get tripped up by the question. If ours is truly a government of limited powers, then they have to start justifying social engineering and corporate law.
I don’t think many currently masquerading as “leaders” want to think about it at all.